Notes

Benjamin Bill on the outside looks like a decent schoolboy- he gets good grades, he dresses well, and he doesn't look half bad. But things aren't always as they seem- for his life is not really an honest one. With no parents around, he is left to care for his younger brother and sister. He can't get the police involved, for he does not want the remaining family he has to be separated. The thing is, he has no time to work and pay for them, leading to him turning to a life of thievery. He doesn't have time to do homework, and pays the teacher for his grades, just to keep himself afloat.

The Pickpocket of her Heart:



Joshua Pattugalan:
Working title is: Pickpocket of her heart
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
that made me remember i came up with this concept for a gacha game over break but it’s still very vague, i can talk about it later though
Emphasized “Working title is: Pickpocket of her heart”
Joshua Pattugalan:
A GACHA game
I gotta hear this then!
But I’ll share mine first
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Y e s
yours sounds pretty interesting already dude
Joshua Pattugalan:
We follow our protagonist, Benjamin Bill. On the outside, he’s a normal student. Get’s good grades. Decent looking guy. But his home life gets... a bit difficult. He’s stuck raising his two younger siblings, and he could never land a job for himself because of his lack of real-world skill
At a young age, he turned to theft to make a living
And he couldn’t get the police involved to care for his siblings, or they’d be taken away
And he couldn’t afford to get the family separated
He pays off the teachers to keep himself in school (unbeknownst to them, by their own money)
One day, a new girl moves into town into Benjamin’s class- a rich girl who just came upon a fortune from her grandparent’s inheritance
Benjamin decides to follow her after school to pickpocket some cash, but a fateful encounter with a mugger has him defending her instead
She starts spending time with Benjamin, and he realizes she’s into him
Can he woo her into helping him pay for his siblings? Can he turn his life around? Can he pick himself up off the ground? Will she ultimately reject him because of his criminal way of life?
Find out next time on
Pickpocket of her heart
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Ayoooo
i’m hooked on it already
Joshua Pattugalan:
Yo really?
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
i’m not that much of a romance fan but the way benjamin’s lifestyle is makes me very interested in it
Joshua Pattugalan:
Draft 1 bro! Gotta refine it, then you can get hooked
Yeah, romance is very selective
But the reason a lot of people get hooked
is the character dynamic
Often times, it’s poor boy meets rich girl
But what happens if poor boy is pretty well-off with his life
And if rich girl isn’t a complete scumbag
And what if poor boy wanted her money first
But actually falls in love
Stuff like that- that’s why people will read
If they like the character, they’ll want to know what happens
People read for the characters and how they play off of the world
Not to see two people get together
That’s a part of them on the world- romance is completely unnecessary in stories
And often times, best when it’s not touched as the main focus
Y’know how a lot of stories have cliffhangers between chapters?
I want one where the police show up to Benjamin’s apartment
And he thinks they found him out
But they want to interrogate him on his beating up the Mugger- because the girl told them Benjamin protected her
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Emphasized “I want one where the police show up to Benjamin’s apartment”
Joshua Pattugalan:
Oh, and on day one, he decides not to take her money because “getting mugged on the first day of school... I know what it’s like to have it rough. Maybe another time”
But then he walks her home like “Awh, what a gentleman”
But no
It’s
“Well now I know where you live.”
“Mmm. Money”
Oh- and as a cliche reversal- the parents LIKE Benjamin
Think he has good street smarts
(parents of the girl)
She doesn’t have a working name yet
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
i could see a lot of possible comedic situations where benjamin nearly blows his cover (or is he more of the cautious type? if so, then that probably wouldn’t happen a lot)
Joshua Pattugalan:
Absolutely
Absolutely dude
Nail on the head
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
N i c e
Joshua Pattugalan:
Yes, comedic situations where he’ll almost blow his cover
It’ll start off where he’s cautious
But he let’s his guard down around her
Another thing is she’ll invite him and some classmates to her house as a rich people party type thing
And Benjamin holds the invitation at home like
“This is like a winning lottery ticket... jackpot”
Oh- Benjamin Bill is meant to be an Ironic (working) name (not permanent)
Because a Benjamin Bill is a $100
bill
Ha
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Laughed at ““This is like a winning lottery ticket... jackpot””
Joshua Pattugalan:
Punny
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
A y o
that was clever
Joshua Pattugalan:
Ah
And his parents were drunkards
They’re still alive out there
But Benjamin doesn’t care- since they kinda abandoned the family
And he’s been taking care of them
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
respect to benjamin for keeping his siblings going though
Joshua Pattugalan:
He CANNOT cook- so he gets them school cafeteria lunch
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Emphasized “But Benjamin doesn’t care- since they kinda abandoned the family”
Joshua Pattugalan:
And his siblings don’t go to school- they use Benjamin’s old books
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
hmm
possible benjamin x girl moment where she teaches him how to cook at her house or something ??
Joshua Pattugalan:
old school textbooks
Bro
That is in there
She’ll ask if he wants to learn how to cook something
And he wants to learn something simple (that doesn’t use electricity... because bills))
And she’ll end up giving him a battery powered kitchen appliance
He’ll fess up about his situation with his siblings I think earlier on, but will mention that his money is sent in from his grandparents in a foreign country through the mail
She’ll offer to help, or grant shelter or something, but he’ll think it’s a trick since “nobody is that nice”
Oh, and of course, character flaws
because no character is perfect without their imperfections
The girl is naive- not very street smart- gullible. And kind- maybe too kind?
And Benjamin is- well, a crook
Oh, the girl has no clue that she’s used as an instrument in Benjamin’s heists either- she just thinks he’s keen on meeting her rich friends or going to big parties and stuff
Also, he leaves every meeting with her with like- a doggy-bag of leftovers
I think for the ending- she’ll help him get a job
Because slowly, he’s been picking up skills from her
Like how to act proper and cook and stuff
And he realizes that he can support his family though her- without having to steal from her
Maybe he comes clean? Maybe he doesn’t?
Thats to be decided
BUT
What do you think?
So far
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Emphasized “She’ll offer to help, or grant shelter or something, but he’ll think it’s a trick since “nobody is that nice””
Joshua Pattugalan:
I looked around to make sure that premise wasn’t used elsewhere- and I think it’s original
Cuz it seems in the clear
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Liked “Because slowly, he’s been picking up skills from her”
Yeah i really like the character flaws especially for benjamin
Joshua Pattugalan:
The girl- needs more depth still. She feels a bit like a plot device
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
what if by some random plot twist near the end, when benjamin comes clean about stealing, the girl is like “i knew all along” or something
Joshua Pattugalan:
Which is what you DON’T want in a character driven story?
YOOOOOO
“That’s why I wanted to see you more often.”
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
“i’ve been stealing from you this whole time”
“i know. (:”
Joshua Pattugalan:
And he’s like in his head “Ah- so in reality... she knew... but... nobody is that nice?”
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
since this girl is rich or something, maybe she knew about benjamin’s financial thing through her “rich connections”
Joshua Pattugalan:
“Please, Benjamin. We have security cameras. Security guards. It’s my gift to you.”
And like
“The truth is, my parents did a background check on you. You didn’t exist. I turned to the police and, well, it turns out your life is much harder than you let on. But I didn’t want you to think I did all this because I knew. That’s not why I did it”
Oh- Benjamin helps her do homework. With the answers he got from paying off the teacher. He pays for both of their grades
Using the teacher’s money
Ain’t that something
“Rich connections” -yeah, he steals from us. Shady guy, 0/10, would not recommend
Rich girl- “And I took that personally”
Benjamin- “And I took that” *puts in pocket*
Joshua Pattugalan:
I do want to find a way though
For her to have a somewhat realistic reaction to being stolen from
Hmmm
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
Emphasized “Ain’t that something”
Joshua Pattugalan:
Ah, I’ll figure it out- I think I’m decent with character writing
Y’know?
It should come to me
I think
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
true, most people realistically probably wouldn’t be fine with that l m a o
Joshua Pattugalan:
Unless I’m only good for it with book of Zyrqe
Man
Hmmm
It’s the dilemma of- do desperate times call for desperate measures
Yo wait
What if Benjamin has another encounter with the police
And this time- they caught him
But the girl refuses to believe he’s a theif and stuff
Buys him a top-tier lawyer
Proves him innocent
But he has a guilty conscience now
And turns over a new leaf
And in the end- didn’t end up stealing from her?
(Thanks genre wheel- a detective/mystery wouldn’t have been so bad to work with)
Kevin (Keyvine) Tan:
would this probably take place near the end of the webtoon ?
Joshua Pattugalan:
Though... patching romance into a mystery would be... tougher?
“Guys, stop making out on top of the evidence”
Most likely, yeah
But it’s nice to have an endgame in mind
Or it’ll drag on for too long
And nobody would want that
I think
Or- at least I know that I don’t like it when something goes on for too much longer than it needs to
I’ll be honest, I don’t read webtoons, but my sister was really interested in doing this, so I’m down to write for it
Correction: I don’t read
But I do write
A lot
(I think)
I dunno, from the stuff I’ve written and brainstormed so far, what do you think?