Notes

-She kept talking about rolling her wrists. But what exactly does that mean? She should have explained what it meant and how it was painful, irritating, etc. It would have helped me visualize more and understand the story better.
-A lot of the words in there were unnecessary. They were very descriptive, but some of them seemed to be unnecessary. I guess this could be seen as a positive or negative, depending on how you view it.
-It was formatted very good. She saved the lesson for the end and weaved it in, hinting at it throughout the story. This helped me realize what she was trying to get at while writing, instead of just putting down words on a page and calling it a story, she took her time and made it into something that had a lesson.
-She used backslashes and parentheses a little much. She probably should have just stuck with one or two words at most to describe the thing she wanted to describe.