Notes

Seven Secrets Behind Interpersonal Conflicts at Work
visit site Conflicting views are merely natural, but Conflicts occur whenever we elect to express our conflicting views emotionally." - Jensen Siaw

How many times maybe you have encountered difficult colleagues that you just couldn't see eye to eye with? How often perhaps you have gotten into unhappy disagreements with peers, subordinates and even your bosses? How often times have you ever left a job as a result of interpersonal conflicts and office politics that left you sick and tired?

If you're human resource manager, a department head, a team leader or perhaps in any leadership position inside your organisation; then chances are you should have spent or remain spending a tremendous number of your time and efforts resolving people issues within your team. Interpersonal conflicts and office politics will need to have triggered employee dissatisfaction reducing productivity at work.

Wouldn't you choose great if interpersonal conflicts and people issues are reduced to the minimum, every team member works happily and supportively, as there are greater work satisfaction and enhanced productivity? Is that possible? YES! CERTAINLY! But how?

Let's first have a look at what can cause interpersonal conflicts in the office. Below are seven secrets behind interpersonal conflicts and office politics:

1. Differing Beliefs & Values

Who were today is shaped by our past experiences that shaped our beliefs and values. With everyone maturing under different environments and experiences, it's only natural that our beliefs and values change from each other. Yet because beliefs and values are what we hold dearly to inside our hearts, it gets very disturbing when our colleagues' speech and behaviours usually are not in keeping with our beliefs. Thus conflicts occur.

2. Differing Expectations & Blueprint

Because we now have different beliefs and values, we also expect things to be done differently. In our minds, we've "blueprints" of how various things ought to be handled and managed. Should we perceive a colleague speaks and behaves in a manner not congruent with your "blueprints", we begin to place judgments on him. When we judge and stereotype an individual, it's just really easy to discover fault with him, don't you find it?

3. Differing Objectives & Interests

Almost most people are inside a job for the core reason of getting money. However, we have to the same job with different objectives and interests. Some people want to make a job and therefore enjoy this, it's, while others only want to earn their living simply do what exactly is required.

Some people concentrate on the collective interests with their team, but others hold on tight very strongly to their personal interests.

4. Differing Needs & Priorities

People reach the same organisation with different needs. Some of us would like to fulfill our requirement for significance thereby proactively get to the good books of bosses and make progress in projects; others wish to fulfill their requirement for security and thus just diligently focus on what they have to deliver and remain low profile.

Some staff may place family as main priority, however their managers value career most importantly and frown upon them leaving work on time or spending time off for kids.

5. Differing "Mode of Operation"

According to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), people receive and process information and events differently in their brains and thus "operate" differently. Some of us communicate visually and say "I we do hope you can easily see my point", while some communicate kinesthetically and solicit feedback by saying "Do you recruit a sense of what I am saying?"

This is quite like two individuals of personalities or speaking two different languages. When that occurs, miscommunication happens and conflicts can happen.

6. Psychological Transference

As human beings, we unconsciously project our judgments on others. In our childhood and age of puberty, we will need to have placed judgments and possess unresolved negative emotions towards some figures within our lives. When we become adults, we carry these along with us to your relationships and workplace.

Therefore, whenever a colleague says something or behaves in a very way that reminds us of the particular person whom we have judged or feel negatively towards, we project the judgment onto this colleague and feel the same negative emotion. When emotions be important, conflicting views become interpersonal conflicts.

7. Lack of Emotional Intelligence and Emotions Mastery

Because emotions play a huge role in fuelling interpersonal conflicts, someone who lacks emotional intelligence and don't learn how to manage his emotions could enter into conflicts with colleagues easily. Driven by negative emotions, differing views could escalate into open arguments, hidden sabotages and destructive office politics.

Reconising the importance of emotional intelligence, multinational corporations happen to be purchasing emotional intelligence training and coaching for staff. They usually leave which has a more in depth understanding about emotional intelligence, but not really coping with their negative emotions.

Having identified the seven secrets behind interpersonal conflicts, let's discuss briefly on the "HOW" - what can be done to resolve interpersonal conflicts with a transformational and deeper level:

1. Empower Minds

Help staff to find out a little more about themselves so that they discover why they believe, feel, say and behave where did they do today. With this understanding, there'll be more empathy amongst colleagues and so many people are encouraged to take personal responsibility for his or her own thoughts, feelings, speech, behaviours, performance and results.

2. Empower Hearts

With staff taking personal responsibility for own emotions, empower them with emotions mastery methodologies and techniques to handle their negative emotions while they arise. The key this is to face and resolve the emotions, not suppress or pretend they just don't exist. The latter will lead to destructive team dynamics and undesirable team performance.

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