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Top 3 Reasons We Fall In Love

According to Hani Henry, chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg's psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.


A basic friendship is a relationship that involves a person falling in love with another person for intimate reasons. It lacks commitment and passion. Henry said that intimacy is not only about building a close relationship with someone; it can also be used for self-enhancement. "Sometimes it's self-serving. gitari needs to feel loved, cared for, and respected. Women want to feel feminine, while men want to feel masculine.

The song Hello by Adele is a great example of intimacy. Adele contacts her ex boyfriend and reveals her feelings of heartbreak about the relationship in the song's chorus. She says that she hasn’t been able to heal herself after so many years. "Her lyrics are magical and speak for a lot of people who want to have an emotional connection with anyone or a short-term relationship," he said.


Normal to fall in love out of desire or strong feelings is normal. Passionate love develops from feelings that lead to sexual attraction and romantic interest. "When you see someone you like, you are captivated by something that draws you to that person," explained Henry. Henry explained that physical attraction can be described as a fascination with hair, eyes, and the body.

In the absence of intimacy and commitment, infatuation is developed with the person you love. People are attracted to one another and develop a sense of lust. Some people become obsessed with a person and view them as an object. He said, "You can be in love with someone for years but not feel that there is any commonality between you two."


Complete love requires commitment. He stated that those who are committed want stability and a healthy partner. "People who are only looking for commitment might lack basic friendship interests and sexual attraction."

Henry stated that today's young adults are more concerned about objects than they are about relationships. "The objectification comes from consumerism," he explained. "The more consumerism a culture becomes the more people lose interest and commitments. Some youth are more interested in impressing people they don't care about. Therefore, it is important to eat everything and have good relationships with others.

Love Outside the Triangular Theory

Sternberg's theory of love is universal. However, every person has their own reasons to fall in love. "Your reason for falling in love doesn't necessarily need to be explained by science. Some personal needs can be the fear of being alone, social peer pressure, satisfaction or religious values," Henry said.

Regardless of what psychology may say about love and how it affects us, we define who we really are by the type of love that we choose. Each of us has our own ways of understanding what makes our lives happy and meets our human needs. "Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can't give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love is complex.

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