Notes

Top Three Reasons Why We Fall in Love

Hani Henry, associate professor of psychology at AUC's Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology, says that Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory addresses the most common reasons we fall in love, which are: passion, intimacy, and commitment.


Intimacy


Falling in love for intimate reasons can be described as having a basic friendship; it lacks commitment and passion. Henry stated that intimacy is more than just a close connection with someone. It can also be used to enhance self-esteem. Sometimes it is self-serving. Everyone wants to be loved and cared for. Women want to feel feminine, while men want to feel masculine.


The song Hello by Adele is a great example of intimacy. Adele calls her ex-boyfriend in the chorus and vents her pain about the relationship. She says that she hasn’t been able to heal herself after so many years. "Her lyrics are magical and speak for a lot of people who want to have an emotional connection with anyone or a short-term relationship," he said.


Passion


The normal thing to do is fall in love due to strong feelings or desire. Passionate love develops from feelings that lead to sexual attraction and romantic interest. Henry explained, "When you meet someone you like you become captivated by that person." "The attraction is physical, and there is a fascination with the hair, eyes and body."


Infatuation develops when there is no intimacy or commitment. "People become captivated and develop lust. Some people become obsessed with a person and view them as an object. You can be with someone for years and don't feel there is commonality between you and that person," he said.


Commitment


Commitment is complete love. "People who want commitment are seeking stability and a healthy partnership," he stated. "People who are only looking for commitment might lack basic friendship interests and sexual attraction."


Henry says that young adults today are more interested in objects than in relationships. "The objectification comes from consumerism," he explained. "The more consumerism a culture becomes the more people lose interest and commitments. Some youth are more interested than others in pleasing people they don’t care for. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people."


gitarijada Outside the Triangular Theory


Sternberg's theory of love is universal. However, every person has their own reasons to fall in love. "Your reasons for falling in love don't necessarily have to be scientifically explained. Some personal needs can be the fear of being alone, social peer pressure, satisfaction or religious values," Henry said.


No matter what psychology says about love, our choice of type of love defines who we are. We have our own way of understanding what makes us happy and fulfills our human needs. "Some people are caught with a need that meets each dimension of the triangle and they can't give up on two because of the different needs they get. Love is complex.

Homepage: https://gitarijada.org/quotes/attitude-status/