Notes

The Secret Life of a Clothing Shopaholic

Yes, I am a recovering clothing shopaholic. Perchance you think clothing shopaholics are just women who can't control their urge to spend money on clothes. But that basically isn't what the addiction is all about. There exists a big misconception about clothes shopping addiction. So I am going to enable you to in on the truth about any of it and tell you all about the secret fantasy life of the ladies who have it. You see, all female clothing shopaholics have one thing in common:


WE CRAVE FLATTERY, ENVY, AND COMPLIMENTS ON OUR APPEARANCE EACH DAY OF OUR LIFE.


When we get yourself a compliment or an admiring stare along the way we look, we feel good. And here is another truth about our addiction: we all have a "female appraiser". A "female appraiser" may be the female in our life that people always imagine envying us and complimenting us whenever we try on new clothes. She is the main one we always wear new outfits in front of to obtain appraisal and compliments about how we look. She is the main one who notices every new footwear, every new piece of jewelry, whether our hair looks particularly healthy and attractive that day, and every new item of clothing we are wearing to the minutest degree. COMPRAR ROUPAS ONLINE She dissects us physically; she actually is our lifeblood to feeling we exist; by noticing us, envying us and complimenting us; she makes us feel alive.


And we have been her female appraiser as well. We notice every new item she wears and we comment about how exactly good she looks as well. We often envy her appearance and new outfits. Our relationship is the mutual symbiotic feeding of our ego envy. Usually our female appraiser is our female mother, sister, friend or coworker who we subconsciously compete and appearance to get approval from about our appearance. We always make an effort to upstage her to look at and make her feel envious of us; we always think about whether what we buy will make her envy how exactly we look before we buy it and when she sees a fresh outfit on us and we feel her envy (of course the ultimate high is when she asks us where we bought it) we've our ultimate addictive fix. We even watch just how many people notice us more than her when the two folks walk together in public, to learn that we are receiving more attention than she is. Yes, it's an "envy/dislike/need of approval dynamic" we've with this female appraiser (or multiple female appraisers) on a complicated physical and emotional level.


When I was a clothing shopaholic, I lived for clothes, these were my entire life passion. I still love clothes. But I'm less in need of the power they give me to be noticed, admired, and envied. The necessity to look for clothes and imagine wearing them and getting compliments from women when I put them on has taken less of a hold on me. But there was a time when shopping for clothes was an essential section of my daily life because I lived for the attention and praise those new outfits gave me. I'd fantasize when i tried them on in the store and imagine being envied by my female appraiser when I wore them. As soon as I bought them, wearing them always made me feel very special and alive when I acquired that attention, envy and praise from my "female appraiser". I always needed to wear something new to be noticed which is why the amount of money was spent; to continually have new clothes to wear so I would continually get compliments and become noticed. When I wore that outfit a second time, it wasn't new anymore no compliments were given because they'd recently been given when I wore it the very first time. So that outfit did not serve its purpose any more for my addiction unless I wore it before another female appraiser who never saw it before (sometimes I had 3 or more female appraisers in my own life). On the times I wore an outfit that I received no attention about, I actually felt invisible and depressed. Sometimes just considering another new outfit I'd wear the next day and how good I'd look and how envied I'd be was all I thought about on those depressing days. It had been the thing that kept me going; imaging that outfit in my own closet and the power it would give me to be noticed and complimented.. I'd fantasize concerning the shoes I'd wear with the outfit and how I'd match my eye shadow to it and the admiration I'd be getting. Because I usually knew exactly what to buy and wear that could make my female appraiser envious and wish she had my clothes and got the eye I was geting. And just what a euphoric high that could give me; even considering that happening.


Clothing shopaholics have an odd addiction because when you get rid of the women you feel competitive with, the addiction loses its hang on you. That's because the addiction is about fantasizing about being envied for how you look in clothes. But get rid of the female appraiser, and you don't possess the envy and you lose the necessity to fantasize or look for clothes. Needless to say, eliminating female appraisers that you experienced isn't easy. So long as you have a mother or work in a corporate office, or have a lady sibling you see, you'll have a woman that you experienced assessing your appearance. Even when babysitting my friend's 10 year old daughter, she assessed my appearance by informing me my pants didn't match my top; "the colors were off" she told me. And here I thought I was free of that kind of appraisal from children and could just "throw on sweats and any old top." In the end, why care just what a 10 year old girl considers how I look when I'm babysitting her? But yes, her comment did bother me, although I stood my ground and refused to improve my clothes. Needless to say, she is a budding clothing shopaholic in the making.

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