Notes

Is one of the reasons you choose to continuously ignore me that it allows you to receive all of the emotional gratification from the overwhelming amount of praise and love that I shower you with, all without taking any of the responsibility of actually responding to me? Because you know how deeply I am in love with you, and you know with me being totally left out in the dark I'll still be there periodically lavishing you with all of this affection? Realistically you could have ended this years ago, by straight up telling me (in the nicest way possible) that you don't feel the same way, but instead you allowed it to go on and on, knowing full well how much heart ache it must have been causing me to be ignored like that. I'm not saying that that is definitely the case, but if it is, I think that's an incredibly selfish and cruel thing to do.

I often see the worst in people, and it's something that I'm really trying to change, but with you I always put you on a pedestal. Truth is, for the best part of 11 years you've done your best to never show me any sort of affection, even before all of this started you would never respond to my texts when I was just trying to be friends with you. And I know the role I had to play in that, which is why I always took it on the chin and accepted that that's the way it was, but that was half a life-time ago, ya know. I know what I deserve and it certainly isn't this.

I'm not going to say something to the effect of "this is the last you'll ever hear from me", because I've already said that a million times before, so it means next to fuck-all at this point. I'm just gonna do my thing and try my best to put my trust in the Universe to guide me exactly where I need to be guided and to help me grow exactly as I need to. Whatever will be, will be, ya smell me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVxY3xhSGYU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2i0Nw3NDBU (fast forward to 3:30, the tune gets better at that point)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjzJYa7tHLs

Peace out Lishy 💖👴🏿