Notes

What is it like to be an adopted person?
Adoptees view the world differently than non-adopted persons. The process of adoption affects every aspect of their lives.

They have unique experiences as a result of being adopted, which influences their feelings and behaviors in the course of growing up. Though every child's adoption life experience is unique, adopted children face three common problems as they grow up.

1. Grief

Often, adopted children will experience feelings of sadness and anger as they grow older and try to comprehend their adoption. They may worry they have lost touch with their biological parents, siblings, roots. This grieving may also elicit feelings of apprehension. Adopted kids may ask, "What's wrong with me?" or "Will my adoptive parents leave me also?"

many open adoptions who were adopted require constant reassurance in order to alleviate their fears. Kids who were adopted tend to do well when their adoptive parents acknowledge their feelings and allow the chance for self-expression. Adopted children who have a strong bond with their adoptive family or who have an open adoption arrangement are better equipped to cope with their anxiety.

2. Identity Formation Issues

The forming of identity begins in childhood and intensifies during adolescence. Adolescence is the time when children begin to comprehend and explore their ego, where they're from, and what they would like to accomplish with their lives. Understanding these things can be especially difficult for adopted youngsters. Closed adoptions may leave adopted kids wondering why they were given up for adoption, what happened to their biological parents, if they have any siblings, and if they look like their biological family. This all weighs heavily on their minds.

Adopted children frequently wonder if they have any traits in common with their birth family. We've heard from adoptees who used to look for their biological parents on the streets when they were kids. Adoptees are also curious about their medical histories. People who have access to their genetic history can learn about any diseases or problems that run in their family. Open adoption is extremely advantageous for adopted children for these reasons.

3. Confidence

Adopted children may deal with self-esteem issues as they mature. They may perceive themselves as different, out of place, or unwelcome in social situations. They may feel as if they don't belong with others at times. Adopted kids who are embarrassed or ashamed of their adoption are more likely to lack self-confidence.

Adoptees who are raised to regard their adoption as a positive experience are more likely to have a strong sense of self as adults. Adopted kids who have positive relationships with both their adoptive and biological families have higher self-esteem and self-worth.


We've discovered through experience and research that open adoption generally results in the best outcomes for adopted children. Open adoption gives them a sense of security and aids them in overcoming whatever issues they may face as they grow up. Instead of than imagining, they can grasp who their biological parents are. Open adoptions eliminate the need for kids to wonder where they came from, what their biological parents look like, or why they were placed for adoption. Instead, they can be proud of the fact that both their birth and adoptive family love them unconditionally.

Even with an open adoption, however, adoptees will still experience life differently from the rest of us.

If you have an adopted child in your life, let them know that you respect their experience, and that you listen closely. Open adoption or not, adoptees have unique problems that stem from being adopted.

Website: https://adoption.cocaw.org/