Notes

I want to start off by apologizing to you once again even though we both know that saying sorry fixes nothing, i sincerely from the bottom of my heart want to say that i am sorry about my recent actions, i do know that what i did was entirely wrong up to the point where i lied to you and said i didn't do it and i also know you told me that you understand me and i know that nothing can justify my actions but i just want to explain to you again why it is that i did what i did. The biggest part that plays in it is that i was just so insecure at that moment and was overthinking a lot about what if you actually do text someone while we were in the situation we were in and although you said you weren't going to move on i thought we were broken up and on the edge of not fixing things yes even though we started talking i just wanted to be absolutely sure that you wouldn't move on so when i saw her on tiktok i was really deciding weather to do it or not but at the end i said fine i'm gonna do it because i didn't think you were going to take things the way you did and i just thought about it being something small i in all honesty did not know i was going to hurt you the way i did and just seeing that i hurt you hurt me twice as much and much more when you told me that i lost you for good and that god could forgive me but you couldn't my heart dropped and broke into pieces and i know that i probably hurt you the same way by doing what i did but in no way shape or form did i mean to hurt nor make you look dumb i would never want to make you look dumb at all. i love you more than life itself and you mean the entire world to me and i know i hurt you but i promise you on my angels that i will never put you through anything like that again, yes like any other relationship we will have up and downs but i will never try to hurt you again. like i told you before with the time we are having alone i will be working on my mindset and on my self and i will not let anything like that get in my way or in my mind. I know that before i have told you i would change but this time i really am taking action even though you said you don't think so i really am i know what i need to work on and i will mature and grow in order to be the best for you and help both of us grow because that's all i want, for us to grow and build an empire even if we don't become very wealthy i don't ever want to leave your side no matter what situation we are in.