Notes

A Pavlov Trick Awry

I courted you with Candy Canes
And Blue Banana Bubble Gum
But now you’ve fallen for the sweets
And not the heart that wants your love

I wanted you where you could hear
My Heart beat in my chest
And feel it pounding in your ear.
Together; love professed

But despite my greatest efforts,
I’m still left with all this gum
Sweet and sickly, innocently
rotting holes in heart and bone

Sugar keeps you coming back
and yet you always pass me by.
Such is the back handed nature
of a pavlov trick awry.

I buy a bag of Blue Banana Bubble Gum
-blow through it in a night.
Build dreams of you from bubbles
With no way to cease their flight.

Sweet toothed and sugar high
I retire to my room.
And roll over in a bed
two times too big

For a lonely
candyman
And gum that never
seems to stick.









It’s Really Nothing Personal

God has forgotten
that he made
us.

It’s a simple, honest mistake, really.
Just the same as leaving the
Oven on at home, or forgetting that you brought your six year old to Walmart.

But it’s true, unfortunately,
God has forgotten all of our names.
Yeah,
yours too. Don’t be disheartened,
It's really nothing
personal.

This is speculation,
of course,
But I’m pretty sure he just got bored
I mean sure, we expect a lot from him,
But omnipotence only goes so far

But, yeah.
God has forgotten all of his hard work.
A billion names, a billion faces, and at least a few scared 6 year olds at the Walmart help desk.

That said,
I’m sure he’s in a better place now
That's what they always say, isn't it?
A better place?

He’s off somewhere in this void or another
Throwing imaginary darts
At invisible dart boards
And forgetting who it was he used to be.

He’s off somewhere in this void or another
a match in his left hand,
cigarette in the right
forgetting who it was he used to be.




A Catholic Reformation

As scratched into the wall of the confessional at noon

Use the bible
As a checklist
Of all the bad things
You forgot to do so far
Smash glass bottles
And curse at god

Silhouette your own body
Against the pale embrace of the moon
Like a monster of england
Hiding from Hunters with
Holy water and
Vicious stakes

Drink orange juice out of a wine glass
Because your mom told you not to
Don’t drink the actual wine. She’ll kill you
The glass is just enough to
Make her feel as disappointed as
You want her to be

Play with finger guns and
Play with hand grenades
Play your music on blast
Spray paint your name onto the one bridge in your town
Where nobody will ever see it

A harmless impact.
Your own little secret.
Something special in the same way you are











I’ve fallen in love.

I know it.

One day ages ago, at my great grandparents house,
when I was maybe 10 years old,
my great grandfather called me over to the lazy boy he seldom left.
He was 90.
He told me,
find someone you love,
and never,
ever
let them go.
He looked over at his wife, sitting in a
similar chair not too far away.
A few years later, when she died, he followed her soon after.
Never,
ever.

And then there was this time maybe a few weeks ago.
We were in your room,
and your road lost power,
so we couldn't watch a movie,
so we just sat there,
and you let me hold you.

You let your head lull in the crick of my arm,
rest just next to my heart beat and you
fell asleep to its tune.
You slept for 11 endless minutes.
The clammer of the world paused for you
I was scared to breathe,
scared to move,
I would've sworn you could've shattered at any moment,
but you didn’t.

Instead, Heavy like blankets, your head stayed on my heart,
our legs tangled,
our hands clasped.

When those 11 minutes came to an end,
sound once again ambiently filled the room.
You looked up at me, sleepy
and messy
and beautiful,
and you said “this is the happiest I’ve ever been”.
Thats exactly where it happened.
Thats exactly when I fell in love with you.
Sitting on your bed, by way of 11 fragile minutes.
Never,
ever,