Notes

April 13, 2014

After so long i am writing i dnt know why im writing bt shyd esse acha option koe or bhi h nhi ajkl mere pass. Its my bday today bt its bad day. Got ur message at 12 for wish bt ur wish was so formal, its like happy bday to birthday girl with lot of eatables writing as lockdown m meri trf se party. thanks for ur party dear bt party se zyada zaroori kuch or tha jo m hmesha mangti rhti hu ek selfish k trh. Pta ni yr smjh nhi aata m knha glt hu maine esa kya kr dia h k tum mere se baat tk nhi krna chate kuch pucti hu to tumhare formal se answers milte h jo bhut hurt krte h. once you said that k bhuit time dia h phle eska ye mtlb nhi h k abhi bhi dunga. Seriosly yr k aaj m etni buri bn gyi hu. Tum to ye bhi khte ho k m to esa hi tha pr tum ese nhi the. jb se tim ghr gye tumne ek baar bhi kbhi pyr se BHALU nhi bola hoga pta ni tum,he yaad bhi h ya nhi. M tumhe kuch bhi bolti hu to tum bolte ho jo sochna h socti rho tumhari soch hi esi h. Kaisi h meri soch yr Ghatia vo to phle bhi esi hi thi. You said M selfish hu hmesha jo bhi kia apne fayde k liye kia. Maine kbhi tumhare lie kuch kia hi nhi. Roz sochta hu k esa mene kya kia h yr. tmhe bt hi nhi krni kbhi thk h yr m selfish hu maine kbhi khud ka nhi socha to m selfish hi hu. I have made everything frustrating for u kynki m hmesha mangti rhti hu. kya mangti hu tumhara tym vo tumhare pass h nhi pr ye to meri soch h m to kuch bhi sochti hu. Har chiz m glt hoon m janti hu.
Bs baat etni c h that I am breaking every day pr m to esi hi hu hmesha roti hi rhungi m phle bhi esi hi thi abhi bhi esi hi hu. sbko meri khushiyan raas nhi aati h m thoda sa khush ho leti hu to sb chod dete h kbhi batain kbhi yadain. unhi k sath jine k adt dalni pdegi. why everything hurt me so much. m I a fool? I may be. Agr m tumhare samne khul k baat krta hu ro deta hu tumhe o vo bhi psnd nhin aata. pr m tumhe nhi btaunga to kisko btaunga. khud ko m tired yr hr chiz se. M nhi hu strong nhi handle kr skti kuch bhi tbhi choti choti baton p rona shuru kr deti hu . pr hr kisi k samne nhi . hmesha mujhe dant k nhi thode se pyr k zaroort hoti h. meri preshani faltu k ho skti h pr m faltu k nhi hu yr mere emotions meri feeling . Hr chiz ko bhut sochti hu kynki kbhi kuch khona nhi h. esme kya glt h k m apni khushiyan chahta hu. m nhi hu tumhari trh.

bs aaj socha tha k aaj to phn kroge pura din wait bhi kia bd m pucha to maine cl krn k lie bola nhi. jb bola tb kn sa tumne kr dia. mujhe bhi. shyd mujhe sbse zyada zroort thi tumhari bt m to vo disurb bhi nhi krti. Tum bhr hi nhi nikle . kya ek bt bhi mn m khyl nhi aaya k chlo yr el cl krta hu. m kya bolungi yr tumhe msg m subh krta hu sham ko unka rply aata h. I am forcing you for everything. dont know why.tum vo krte ho jisme tumhe mza aata h game movie. pure ding m kya m 5 min bhi yd nhi aata. pura din to nhi manta hu tumse [r chlo stay busy. sb bkwas likh d maine tumhe bhjunga bhi mn kre to pdh lena nhi krega to chod bhi skte ho kynki h to sb blwas hi.. bs dr rha hu m phr se na tut jau... distance and differences both are different and diffference srf meri bjh se aaenge tumnme yhi kha tha ....

bye gd nght yr I LOVE YOU ye yaad rkhna and shyd Mujhe tumhari bhut zroort thi ek ding phle bhi bola tha pr .......................... khud ko tum mere se zyada ache se jante ho tumhe pta hoga kya chl rha h kya nhi btana tum chahoge nhi pr kbhi mn kre to bta denma. I will be waiting.............