Notes

"I SEE YOU THROUGH MY TEARY EYES"

I see you through my teary eyes
As you hide in the turmeric fields
And behind jackfruit trees,
And drink the rainwater droplets
From leaves and rocks in the forest,
Fearing for your life and that of your young ones.
I see you through my teary eyes
As you hear the burst of gas cylinders
And watch your home dissipate into ashes –
The home you built so lovingly with your own hands.
I see you numbed by the bleak present
That blinds an uncertain future.
I see you through my teary eyes
As the mob comes to rape and humiliate you,
And the men whom you served
Are transformed into voyeurs or malignant beasts.
I see your anger, fear, hurt, shock and dismay
As they tear your body apart with hate-filled eyes.
I see you through my teary eyes
As you get petrified of crackers and complete silence,
Darkness and bright light, lonely and crowded roads;
Of the shouting of slogans and myriad things that are a flaming orange;
Of fire, knives and swords, of the sound of traffic on the road.
Perhaps this is the peaceful existence that they claim?
I see you through my teary eyes
As you watch with anguish your husband, son or brother
killed by a mob and his body dismembered,
and plead with the callous police to recover the flesh and bones
So that you may bundle them in a polythene bag
For a dignified burial.
I see you through my teary eyes
You young girls with a life of dreams,
Scarred by a violent past; pursuing education at all cost,
Meandering your way through
harassment, poverty and a lack of access to information,
Tugged between your aspirations and familial responsibilities.
unheard voices of women from kandhamal
I see you through my teary eyes
While you hide under a dark staircase with a hundred girls,
Rosary and bible in hand, and a prayer on your lips,
Ready to sacrifice your life, yet fearing brutal rape,
as you hear the mob burn, loot and destroy
All that you created and nurtured.
I see you through my teary eyes
You old women abandoned in the village
When the young limbs fled to the forest;
As you braved the rains and the cold on cruel footpaths,
Before reuniting with half your family,
Your body weakened, and eyes brimming with despair and desolation.
I see you through my teary eyes
As they poison your wells, burn your documents,
Kill your cattle, steal your vehicle,
Loot your grains and money,
Stripping you of your dignity in a relief camp,
Snatching away the social ladder and digging your grave instead.
I see you through my teary eyes
As you perform your maiden role in the theatre of justice,
In a strange place filled with saffron sharks,
Forced to speak in an alien language,
Hounded by their lawyer, even as your own turns a blind eye.
Perhaps this is what the rule of law is all about!
I see you through my teary eyes
As they perform the façade of reparations,
Throwing you bits of leaves for a whole forest lost,
Taking no steps to eliminate your fear,
Yet branding you as selfish and devious,
And your decision to flee as a personal choice for financial gain.
I see you through my teary eyes
As you adorn their glossy statistics,
And are used to showcase their success in
NREGA, NHRM, SHGs, MDM -
Policies and schemes that
Hardly touched or changed your life.
I salute you – the girls and women of Kandhamal
For your brave smiles in the midst of a bleak future,
For generously offering me black ginger tea and chivda
Even when you have nothing for your next meal;
For teaching me the power of love and inner strength.
You are my motivation to work and my inspiration to live.
-
Saumya Uma
March 2013