you can't relate or even understand what true pain is.., hurting me like that knowing how damn sensitive i am and what i've gone through and my anxiety, you cry over losing people? you choose to be lonely, so stop crying like a baby over that, when i actually have a reason to cry, i can't fit in anywhere, i always get left behind, i am the girl who is in the back of the class where nobody notices me, the girl who sits in the back of the bus where nobody even notices and has a good time, when i would go home and do the same thing repeatedly, be alone hurting, you already know i've been hospitalized for what i've done to myself, but i don't cry about that specifically, i cry because i could of done so many things to avoid that kinda stuff, but i am too weak and hesitate, that is why i only want to make people laugh / smile / happy, because i don't want them to have it bad all the time, even if they end up going through what i did, i want them to see that someone actually cares, because it's too late for anyone to care, what happened in the past already happened, there is nothing that will change what happened, nothing can reverse the time i was hospitalized for attempting to overdose, there is no reversing all the times i cut my arms fucking crying my heart out because i am in PAIN, no i am not sad, i am in PAIN, fucking broken, like glass shattering repeatedly, i am fragile, i am weak, i've heard it all, and i already know, i tell myself that every goddamn time, i am crying as i write this, how can you tell me you mean no harm, when you left me TWICE.. not once but TWICE! you know i lost a best friend recently who meant so much to me, when we called 5 days ago i was trying so hard not to cry because he abandoned me for someone he loves, and i was hoping that if i changed myself after the three months we split, we could be together and be happy this time, but it is clear that isn't your intentions.. i can't believe you even had the fucking nerve to tell me i act the way i do just to make you feel sorry for me, i could care less if you feel sorry for me, how many times do i have to tell people i don't give a fuck about myself?! it drives me crazy! i put others before me, and i get betrayed, bruised, and end up broken EVERY time, and i want you to feel sorry for me? how will that make me feel any better? feel bad for me? that doesn't help me, you left me like every other person has, and not even that, you didn't even have empathy or the decency to not be harsh about it, you knew what you were doing, you knew you were hurting me when i am already hurt every single day i breathe, are you satisfied with your choice? i won't take you back if you even try.. i do love you but no, i am not even gonna apologize i have nothing to say sorry for, i did the best in my power i can possibly do to make you happy, you acted like the times we spent together, the times we laughed, smiled, meant nothing, i never made you happy? you're a terrible liar Kalin, i knew you for nearly seven months i know when you are lying, so keep lying to not only others, but yourself, i've seen how you can act i know you more than yourself, if you are even reading this than congratulations, and if you read this all the way up to here, i am surprised, i was there when you sobbed over how you missed your brother, and i can't even get a thanks for the times i was there for you, i got abandoned, if you end up with nobody in the end, maybe you will understand why i am the way i am.., i have one question i need to ask you, if you didn't love me, then why did you ask me out? knowing i love you? why did you get with me if you didn't even love me? why did you choose me if it is boring to hang with me, why do you have so much fun if i am so annoying, why are you always blushing if i am so disgusting, answer those at least, goodbye, i enjoyed every second it lasted, but as i predicted and was ready, you ended up like the others.. - Grace
