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1. Perspective on why September did not work and I knew it wouldn't while it's different now.
2. August: whose fault?
*. Negativity vs positivity: being there for each other?
. narrating my own life + other abilities I've lost + finding myself (o) and being without him (x)
x sep memory (normal) + future (developmental) + me and you "omg I'm gonna be a horrible person. We're gonna argue. I'm gonna be hurtful"
. "what if I am a good person but I die like in two weeks"
. fatalism, family life cycle, "I'm all about ending the cycle but what if everyone said they wanna end it but no one could?"
x "What if she doesn't know how bad I am? Or she expects something else?"
. "What if you've faked everything?"
. "What have you done, dragging someone else down with you, now your failures will affect her too. You won't succeed and you will find a way to fuck this all up but now it's not just you anymore what the fuck have you done?"
+. Previously conceived future
*. Possible pointless behavior - stopping the cycle
2: small discussions/scenarios
*. Developmental psychology
*. EXCITEMENT
3: religion and discussion
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