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What is "Love" when nobody stays with me, if that is the case why do they date me if they leave me, and what is trust anyway? I never understood that as i everytime i do trust i get betrayed, so is that not a thing for me? does that not apply universally? and what the hell is loyalty? aren't you supposed to be there for the one you love, and never leave them and love them for them? never betray them? never hurt them? care for them? and i don't get what promises are, people say something like a promise but end up breaking it, so what is the point in being "Honest" if you are gonna lie in the end? and what the hell is dating? it seems that it is more of just me getting hurt over and over there is no real benefit to it? i don't get it, it's like chaos, do they want chaos? is my love not enough? do they want darkness? i am darkness there is no light with me, do they want me to be mean? am i too nice? i am insecure, what is "Loving Yourself" it sounds selfish, i always put others before me, because i don't care about myself, that got me nowhere, I am Nineteen and i don't understand any of that, and never will, I've been in so many relationships and none of them have worked out. Why cant nobody love me for me? why can't somebody commit and be with me without leaving? Why do people get with me if they won't stay with me?.. why am i cursed to be in a loop where i always get hurt, i just want to be loved and appreciated for once..

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