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it has always been apparent to me that im a man, but theres so many situations in which i just cant be confident in that.
people close to me, mostly my immediate family, either deny it and are trying to wait out this "phase" of mine. so often i think that it would be easier for me and them to wear women's clothes and be a woman socially - even though its the exact opposite of what i have wanted for years. i cant just run away and start a new life, but if i did i think a lot about if i'd keep trying for the fantasy in a more accepting place or start over as a regular ass chick.
another thing that fucks me up in this problem is the aspect of sex, which i feel like i can trust you enough to talk about yknow? so when im imagining what it would be like to throw away my life as a dude forever, i ideally would dress myself like an absolute dyke right. it wouldnt be much diff from how i already look and i am tryna smash ladies so its not too much of a problem, but i also still have liked and will like men. so it just isnt congruent in my mind because last time i checked, no guy wants to fuck young m.a. lmao
i dont know man i just feel like im a faliure whos wasting some below average titties on a lifestyle that hardly anyone i know is comfortable with.
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