Notes

So pretty much I'm just done with him. The first like act of kindness he showed to me was like ok I'm flattered but I don't care at all. From day one I have said I have a bf even now he knows I only want you because I have not only implied it but I have deliberately told him. I decided to tell tabby about the song and the poem he showed me this morning. She then was like wow this is not ok especially because she saw me crying over you and how upset I was and Ben still not getting the idea. She then was like wow this is not ok. To be kind to someone and respect their boundaries is definitely a kind thing to do but going and telling me they stay up all night because they can't deal with how much they love me is really stepping a boundary. One of Ben's close friends was like Ben you really need to give her space, basically telling him not to stop but it's obvious I don't want to hear you tell me how much you like me and guilt me. And it's getting to the point that I'm losing people over this and it's not ok at all. It's not ok that just because boys talk to me you have to get mad because they "are flirting" and you get jealous over it. It's not ok that you go behind my back to people who are there for me and that you go and tell them to back off of me and that you scare them so they don't talk to me. This has happened and I brushed it off but today it was Hunter,Brady,Luke,Cammy and Holden. Because we were outside the whole day and I had to work with those boys because they were in my group. I will say maybe once or twice they flirted with me but that's not at all his place. If I felt uncomfortable I am a big girl I can handle it. And you are brought into this on the dailt which fucking pisses me off the most. He is not going to come in and make me upset or mention anything bad about people I love so much. I will say when I love someone in a relationship I love hard. And he knows how muh I care about these people but he goes and does this so that he doesn't have competition or have anything to worry about because they get scared and won't talk to me. And every single hour he wants to go on a walk and talk to me and it's fucking annoying. He doesn't get the hint I dont want to talk about his feelings. Like if you want talk learn boundries. In the morning he always wants to walk. LIke the mornings are my time to go aorund and socialize and see people that I dont have in my classes and my time to have conversations with people. And he just want to talk to me about his feelings. It would be completely different if we were dating. Like for example if you saw a guy flirting with me I would totally understand you not liking that. BUT WE ARENT DATING.