Notes

are you actually sad, or are you just letting shit get to you?
do people even care, its so hard for me to tell if someone genuinely cares for me, or if they just feel bad fro me and are giving me pity. i always give the wrong people attention.
i never realize when someone is using me or not.
how do you know when someone is just using you for something? there are so many things that people can get used for, it can be physically or mentally.
i honestly get so lost in my own mind. people tell me one thing, but than i think another, than i feel like "they have to say that, right?"
i just don't get thus world, like i say to myself all the time, "it could be worse" i have it pretty good, i have a loving mom, a house, a loving family, and i have food. i also have some friends. i have it better than a lot of people. im not saying that better than anyone, because im not, but in my mind everyone is the same. im just saying i really dont have reasons to complain, i may not have a dad, we might have money problems, i might have some annoying family members, but i should be thankful that i even have family that cares about me. i may complaining some people but that is no more. i have mad a promise to my self to not show my true emotion and always have a smile on my face even if im dying inside, or if someone asks how im doing, tell them that im great. im just done getting pity from people, and im done feeling like this is just an act. but in my heart i know that this isnt. but with this test, i will know, and be able to move on.