Notes

Hi my love this is only for you
Raat ka ek bj rha h or m kya hi kr rhi hu pta ni khud bhi nhi janti ye to m sona chahti hu par neend hi nhi aati h. Nind kyn nhi aati eski bjh mujhe bhi nhi pta. M esme jo bhi likhunga uska bura mt manna agr kuch glt likhu to phle hi maaf kr dena or ye mt sochna k I'm complaining bt i just wanted to talk to you bt I didn't get that much time so I'm writing this. You may find it bkwas kynki m kuch bhi likh deti hu.
On Friday mrng u asked me that when u r coming back from home as I'm in my home due to lohri festival and some other reason as well. You just wanted to know that when I'm coming back as you wanted to surprise me by coming to chd to meet me but I told you that I'm not sure that I'll be coming today or not then u revealed ur secret that you are coming and also want that I'll come too. You gave some ideas how i can come I didn't think a bit and packed my bag and just came back. The day i came back was the worst day do u know why becz i have seen my parents crying i necer wanted to see them like thia and tears in there eyes is just becz of me. When i quit the job no one said that it's a right decision and that day I realize that may be my decision is not right. The decision made by me always hits me becz no ine supoorts me in them bt i can't be wrong all the time na. Somehow that day I managed to come back as i can't see more tears ib there eyes. Worst ever travel of the new year. This 2020is started with a great disappointment for me with lot of troubles as well. Then in evng when I reached back I see you holding ur hand and hugging you is best remedy for me to overcome all the tiredness and my bad mood as well . Spend the whike evening with you and I felt good. Next day u r not well i came to ur roon and u r not one percent well the day was spend beside u only and y are having high fever as well bt didn't take medicine i insisted bt still u denied. Tumhari bimari m dekh ni skta tumhe tkliph m dekh kr mujge drd hota h or sham ko jese hi mera tym hua m chla gya. Tum bimar the to ese hi dun nikl gya. Next day started tumhe mene bola pura din kya hi kroge tumne kga market chlte h m ok bt tum office chle gye maine kha m gurudwara k pass wait krti hu jb tk tum bapis nhi aate tum aaye nhi jldi to oark m baith gyi tbhu tumhari cl aae bt tumne gusse m bat kri phr Mujhe pta chl gya k tum office k bhr wait kr rhe ho to m bnhi chli gyi bt tumne bt nhi kri pura ej round maar k room k pass panhutch k maine room jane se bhi mna kr dia bt mna kyn kia shyd aap achi trh jante ho. Mujhe kbhi ye acha nhi lgega k meri bjg se kisi or ko koe peeshni na ho jb un logon ko hi sure nhi tha k aane dete h k nhi to m kese phr se aa jata koe mujhe aa k kuch bol deta to aapko acha lgta ya aapko koe kuch bolta to mujhe bhi acha nhi lgta. M faltu m koe bkheda nhi khda krna chahta tha esliye m mna kia hope u understand tb tum thodi der oark m baith to lie pr chle gye puchne p tumne bola k kya hi krta tumne roim p aane k liye mna kr dia bnha kyn hi baithna tha. M thodi der bd cl kri tumne bola thodi der ruko m ruk gya pr tumhari thodi der hi nhi hue bapis mene cl kia to pta chla aap so gye the m ok thk h phr shm to ho hi gyi thi or bday party m jana tha sare chle the pr sb aps m mgn or aap unke sath mgn m knha hu knha nhi kya frk pdta h sath chl rha hu ya knhi rh gya kuch bhi. M ye nhi khta tum sara tym mere sath hi rho apne frndz ko tym na do bt i do expect something for me as well jb tum sbke sath hote ho esa lgta h m to knhi hu hi nhi kuch choti choti chize hoti h jo kbhi kbhi buri lg jati h. Tum Bolte rhte ho meri baton ka bura kyn mnte ho m esa hi hu m bhi janta hu tum kese ho yr pr m esi nhi hu tumhare sare doston ko aona mnta hu bt bnha p m kya hu pta ni mana hmare frnd sare common h or ek dusre ko jante h or hmare bare m jnte bhi h no doubt. Bt tum ese behave krte ho jese m exist nhi krta us time p jb m srf tumhate sath tym spend krna chahta hu usme bhi sbke k sath jana h or bnha p bhi... Dinner bhi ho gya phr tum diston k sath batain krni h smjh aata h bhut tym bd mille h sb ekthe pr to the very next day tumhe bapis bhi jana h ghr or rat ko apne room again a sad thing for me to m khush nhi hu us chiz se kynki ynha phr Mjboori h k room bnd ho jata h or tumhe bhi jana h kynki mhmn bhi aa rkhe h. Ye bhi thk h. I ohr m knha k chlo free ho k cl krna pr 2hra ho gye or tum free hi nhi hue phr m hi cl kr d to aapko pta tha k m cl kr hi dungi to apne nhi kri. M okg thk h thoda sa naraz bhi ho gya to kya ho gya na. Tum bapis ghr chle jaoge kl or mujhe es bt ka dukh to meri eyes m tears aa gye. Pr agr m roya to tum bt nhi kroge or tumne nhi bhi kri khte ro hi lo. Thk h tumhe mera rona bhi osnd nhi h vo bhi thk h. Agr m tumhare samne bhi emotional nhi ho skta to knha honga pta ni. Tum mujhe surprise krne aae the pr........
Pta ni tum bolte ho sb thk hi h pr mujhe nhi lga kuch thk. I'm not feeling good esliye kuch bhi likha h. Tumhare sath hota hu to preshanio se door rhta hu pr kya kre ye mjbooriyan pta ni kyn aa jati h hr jgh. Ek br mn m khyl aaya tha k chodo sb oyo p room book krte h atleast thoda tym to milega sath m tumhe btane j koshish bhi kri thi pr hme knhi party m jana tha. Pta nhi mujhe kya hua h mujhe khud ko bhi smjh nhi aata bs kuch tym k liye i just wated to be with you alone bilkul.