Notes

We both know it is very much so to send anxious worthy stuff to each other cause you wont see it till ages so like ha. it's hard to tell what I'm going through right now to be honest. Like this whole Alex thing is slowly catching up on me and it's just pushing me back to when i was lost with the whole Klaudia thing so yay, back to square one. But that's no ones fault besides Alexs- shouldve went with my gut at first when I convinced myself that he wasnt lying when I knew something was off but you know, second guessing myself is normal. But even if these emotions are coming at me, it's only because I havent got someone like that anymore and it hurts I guess. And it's most definite that I'll get over Alex quick tbh. But I wasnt gonna answer your question until I was sure about a few things. One was to make sure there was nothing left for Alex cause thatd be rebounding. Two, if its just loneliness but tbh that's unlikely then thirdly, just making sure ik that it's what I want.

I have not had like physical affection more than hugs and stuff since like year 8 (and Thursday finger guns) so imma be awkward no doubt due to my inexperienced self. That's not your fault so if it ever happens and I'm hesitant or something then just dont wanna mess up and idk what the hell im doingnsksks. You ain't pressuring me into anything, you asking if I have an answer just reminds me to not push it aside like I always do because I dont like not knowing outcomes most the time cause its freaking, and not gonna lie and say there is absolutely nothing there for me liking you cause there is. Just need time to see if its gonna be anything serious.. I dont wanna just suddenly change my mind and hurt you so..It's not pity either so huff


However, there is a possibility something stronger is going on with something else so I do need time to think about it all, the answer to your question is just. I don't know.