Notes

I feel like the odd one out all the time. I don't fit in anywhere. Even the places I should fit in are places I don't feel a closeness to. The other day my family forgot about me until they got to church. I don't even fit in at church because everyone seems to have some lifechanging glow. I haven't ever experienced that glow because I've never been unfortunate. God is too good to me. I don't deserve it. Other people do. I don't fit in at school either. My friends all get along so well and let each other speak. But not me. I often get spoken for without my consent. I am viewed as intelligent and emotionless. Nobody there takes the time to see me. The real me. Shea. The only reason people talk to me is if they have a problem that needs to be solved. I am more than just a fix for problems. I have problems too. I am not perfect. People think I don't make mistakes. I am human too. I may say I'm a Martian, but I am just like you. I suck too. When I do make a minor mistake, people gasp and wonder how it is even possible. I. Am. Human. Too. I don't have a place on any athletic team. I am often the only one with a good attitude all the time and one of the few who care enough to listen and give my best effort. I don't complain. I don't give up. I don't act normal. Once again, the odd one out. People may say that is a good thing. I just want to relate to someone. I want to feel the way someone else feels or think the way they think for just a moment. I want to. I need to. I don't feel like I belong in the places that I should belong. Robin Williams once said, "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone." Only one person has ever taken the time to truly listen to me. One person has let me speak. That person knows I am broken too. And that person is. You. - So thank you.