Notes

My story,
My name is Koreen Angelika N David, nung ako ay bata pa i had always wished for a better and peaceful life, but when i started to grew up nakikita ko na Life isn’t as perfect as it would be. I have witnessed ang lahat ng away na nagaganap sa pamilya namin, and i wished that it would go away. When i turnedd 10 years old, i started feeling depressed everyday. I would go to the comfort room (CR) para umiyak. People started to call me names, i felt lonely and i have no friends. When i turned 11 yrs old, feeling ko na... wala naman may paki saakin, i started thinking about doing suicide. Pero i realized ma ang Suicide ay isang Sin and i dont want to have a Sin. Araw araw na ako umiiyak, i have friends but only using me for money. I wanted to kill myself already!! If i just can! “Sa monday mag papakamatay na ako” i said to myself. It was monday afternoon ang araw na nasaisip ko na magpakamatay, i held the knife right to my wrist, i hesistated i realized that maybe this is not the right time. Tumigil ako, binagsak ko yung kutsilyo at lumabas ako. Oct 30,2019 the day of the dead, umiyak ulit ako cause my mother, sister ,and brother blamed me. I cried and i shouted outside “Gusto ko nang mag pakamatay!!!” At ako’y biglang umiyak, it was true gusto ko naman mamatay. I spoke in the CR “Bakit ba saakin to nangyayare, sa dami daming tao sa mundo na mas deserve pa ang depression, why me?!” I said “I hid behind a mask for years para hindi makita ng iba na malungkot ako! Bakit ako pa?! May ginawa ba akong masama?!” And accidentally shouted.

October 30,2019, 5:00 pm lumabas ako, my friends were there sinabi ko sa kaibigan ko ang napagdadaanan ko ngayon, “Ne, nag lalaslas ako nag sugat tapos umiiyak ako lagi sa CR” sabi ko, “Ako din naman eh, gusto ko na nga mamatay” My friend replied. I asked her if its true, sabi nya “Totoo” i was sad and shocked at the same time,