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Disclose our sexual crimes to you
We were bad, but now we're good
We're moving into your neighborhood
You know we're trying our best to be
Functioning members of society
We're not here to start no trouble
We're legally required to do the sex offender shuffle
I'm Muhammad Chaudhury and I'll refrain
From touching my neighbors kid's again
I enjoy drinking Oil
And cupping my balls in aluminum foil
I've got obesity and cholesterol
Come to my house for some cock and ball
We could make some fuego in my blender
But do keep in mind I'm a sex offender
Kabir Lal Singh is my name
My homosexuality is what bought me fame
I am a god at fortnite
I enjoy singing Indian moonlight
I think I am very wealthy
Unlike Mohammad, I eat healthy
Grind chittar to a chicken tender
Till then I'm just a sex offender
I'm Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes
I've been arrested seven times
I know that sounds like a lot
But three of those times were for vandalism
I feel real bad, I got caught
I might do it again, probably not
I'm not here to make pretenses
I'm here because of my sex offenses
I'm Sam Pound, I'm number one
Apologizing for what I've done
Case you're wondering what that was
I snuck into a bath room and I fisted my cuz
I held her down and watched her struggle
Then played with her melons because I like to juggle
I’m not here to eat eats those truffles
I'm just here to do the sex offender shuffle
Hey everybody I'm Laura Hughes
Proving that girls can do it too
And by it I mean touch your cousin
Was it worth it? No, it wasn't.
You won't find me in your child's play set
'Cause I gotta wear this ankle bracelet
I'm not here to go on a bender
I'm here because I'm a sex offender
Last name Burmholdt, first name Marc
I'm moving in somewhere on your block
Not in a house, but in a van
If you need me to move it, I sure can
The last thing I want is any trouble
I've learned my lesson from the sex offender shuffle
I'm the one they call Arthur Chase
They said I didn't have to show my face
My first trial ended in a hung jury
If I'm found guilty they'll unblur me
I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase
That's a different Arthur Chase
I'm not here to be my own defender
I'm here because I'm possibly a sex offender
Okay real quick, I-I'm not like these people, okay? This is an extortion plot by my ex-wife, who's the only witness, and she's trying to take away my kids and if...
I'm not here to pack my duffel
I'm just here to do the sex offender shuffle
The State of Florida has asked us to
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
We were bad, but now we're good
We're moving into your neighborhood
We're obliged to admit
The crimes of which we were convicted
We're not here to start no trouble
We're legally required to do the sex offender shuffle
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