Notes

Lunch tables form dictatorship; colonizations occur within the students
Aiza Malik
10/08/19

Joshua O. and Jonah P., eighth-grade students at CMS in Buffalo Grove, IL, decided that their lunchroom had too many students and not enough organization. They chose to take control of their self-labeled ‘issue’ with a plan of colonization and a dictatorship. Joshua even created an impressive constitution that reached past 20 pages long. The group of people consisted of ‘allies’ from diverse friend groups- reaching far and wide in the cafeteria.
Their idea was for a singular dictator to control as many tables as possible, with Joshua as sole leader. The tables were colonized after a documentation process. They required two consensual signatures from table-proclaimed ‘Representatives’ that would do jury duty if called upon. There were also four other signatures required by people other than the representatives. If one were to identify as a ‘VSCO’ girl, (identified by the culture of owning hydro flasks (a type of water bottle), wearing scrunchies, and using the two-letter keyboard smash, sksksks), there was a section for their own ‘language’ on the constitution. However, VSCO girls were not considered fit to be a representative and were not allowed to be one of the four people who sign. The system excluded them as per the wishes of the dictator.

In the process of solidifying the dictatorship, there was a democracy-type voting session and political debate for the position of vice-dictator. Many of the speeches seemed moderately thought out. Yet, Jonah Pomerantz blew the judges (representatives from tables) away with his meticulously thought out speech. He announced his entry with a strong “My fellow comrades!” and addressed the common issue of rude people and fake friendships that had agonized students. His speech was directed to the people and their issues. One eighth-grader (who wished to remain anonymous) expressed her cross of amusement and amazement at the aggressiveness of the speech,
“I didn’t see it coming, everyone had a calm speech, unlike him. It wasn’t supposed to be a heated speech- only a joke. He legitimately shook the table.”
Teachers were not impressed at the raise of voices as Jonah added even more excitement into the crowd of students. The vice dictator ended up becoming Jonah. As a result, he and Joshua decided to expand their operations to more tables. They chose to do this because they had the administration, in their opinion, to do so. It was done by selecting a handful of un-colonized tables and offering them Munchkins® for every completed form. The alliance cost them around 15 dollars in food, which ended up to be a decent investment (in their opinion) for the power.

Such a reach for power and control does not always appear as a first in the mind of a teenager when faced with a cafeteria. Colonizations and dictators are just an idea presented in textbooks, for most. However, these teenagers seemed to take charge of their idea. As a result, they have- what can be argued as- the most power inside the lunchroom, at the simple cost of Munchkins®, and determination.