Notes

First twilight
Those violent delight , have violent ends
i wake up on the same nightmare, it's the third time i can't sleep, she was wearing blue dress ,cuting her hair long layers, we were in a marriage ,it wasn’t mine, When I hold her hand in the dream I woke up , , feeling deeply hopeless,i wish i did not wake up, if I just stayed there ,with her dancing all the night . on my road to school , first day after holiday i waked up 10 min earlier that day ,on my road ,The sky was clear blue, the road to school was empty, there were no birds no sounds even the sun seemed like she's Hidden from me. walking alone me and my music as i always used to , i cam up to school , there was no one , school's bells ringed, the first section came out , those conversation again ,people braging and show off how much they have a life , how amazing their vacation was ,personaly i don’t like talking about my life , i’m just living it ,and… writing it , i wanted to enter the class first , for a moment i snuff a smell , The smell was faint , very far, but distinctive , fascinated by it to the fullest extent,it wasn’ t a perfume ,but human smell, at first it seemed like it's an extraction of a tree that was once the fountain of beauty ,a smell that did one day huged the perfection,I did not turn back to the source of this smell, I challenge my fate, imposing myself or punishing it , I don't know but i ignored it walking away to my class ,I glimpsed a small teddy bear near the door I held it in my hands, it seemed as if it said, "Do let me down bitch, you will regret it, stupid."
turn my head left looking for someone , from afar , a girl is running towards me , sure she wouldn’t jump and hug me just so like movies she passed by my side , the smell again so its was a girl it was her, of course it should be a girl , i’m so sure about my sexuall attraction , anyway . HEY are you looking for something , i said to her , yeaah im just …. i lost my toy , this one yeaaah oh god so happy that u find it , is it worthfull that much i said it in an ironic way while putting it on her hand , i still remember that feeling touching her little fingers , it means a lot to me so im thankfull for you , gotta go byy : she said hastly ,oh wait , yeah, eemm what your name ,Aliaa , she said that while turning , i said nothing , even goodby i just stand there looking at her walk , that walk full of femininity and war , if she turned see me again i will not let her , promise , secondes are passing, im waiting , she’s going away, away she , climbed the stairs , i saw her skinny body bending it’s like the univers yields to her, birds sing in the sky ,in a second she stall , stall and stopped , turn to me , it seemed like she heard my promise , it was dumb but that damn smile , that posture ,she was wearing a pinky sweater and and a turqoise skirt , new white shoes , a light coming from the big schools window behind her , the wind moving her brown hair, she’s like a goddess - a women normally needs a man to awake the goddesse within her - my girl did it already herself she’s like Aphrodite my own Aphrodite , the deity of beauty and love ,my friends are coming , i taked a look ,she’s no more on the stairs ; after years of dumb cold relationships after years of fake useless girlfriends , this girl did remove the dust out of my heart and maked it beat again …