Notes

Hey, I hope all is well. I'm sorry for everything and I know for certain that I'm gonna try to get back to the old me. Because you're worth it to me. I'm not ready to let all that we've been through and all that we have going for US to waste, and hope you aren't either. we have a lot of good times and I love and cherish those times, and the memories we've made together real close to my heart. I will continue to love you more and more and just when you think I've hit my peak (because I'm nowhere near) it'll just keep going up. I'm gonna try to open up more and more to you (I've never been good at that) I really am not the best. I've never claimed to be the best, I know I'm not the best. I hope you see the good in me though. I truly only have good intentions with you. Please know that I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Sometimes I may have my doubts, and I'll keep working through those doubts, if you'll let me. And those doubts are sometimes. But my love for you is always. Trust that.

I was just speaking my mind, I didn't know that it would have led us to this, and who knows. Maybe this is something we needed. I always say that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that. You're my reason. I know you're for me, I know that I'm destined to spend my life with you. I just feel it. The position you currently have in my life feels so perfect. I want nothing more than for us to be forever. Nothing other than breaking our promise will ever make me want to leave you, and abandon the happiness you've introduced into my life that I have never felt before, or what we've built up in the past 5 months.

I love you so much, and I feel bad because you've put up with so much of my shit, you've given me so many chances and I really don't know why... :(

You clearly see something in myself that I don't even see, because I think of myself as the worst, and I love you so much for that. That's how I know you're perfect for me. No other girl would do that. :(

And I see things in you that I don't think you even see because you're so gorgeous to me <3 truly!!! I don't need ANY other girls in my life!!!!!!!! ever! Because you're everything to me :heart: AHHHHH :heart_eyes: you know all of this though (hopefully bc I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL) and I have all day to tell you how absolutely perfect/beautiful you are to me :) :heart: so I'll get back to the more serious stuff for now.

I'm sorry I start most of our arguments, I know I do. I know you just don't say that. :( a lot of the times they just escalate to a point so quickly that it's hard to immediately deescalate, but we always seem to make things better, and that makes me feel happy & safe.

I'm sorry I annoyed you last night, I didn't know that would've annoyed you like it did. I just didn't want to end the night off on that note, I know that didn't really matter in the end though because I still somehow ruined it :( but I'm still glad we resolved that first issue, just like we'll resolve this one.

I love you Hellen, I really do. More than words can even describe, and I'm so happy I have you in my life. You are, and will always be my absolute everything. And I can't imagine waking up in a world where you're not mine... Waking up in a world where I can no longer call you mine... (literally just shed a tear) :(

Thank you for always putting up with my shit, and I'll always remember all that you've put up with. I'll never leave you as long as our promise stands. And I really will continue to keep working on myself. :(

Sorry I've been the worst.

Just know that I want you, and just you. You'll always be my everything. I'll never take anything you do for me or anything you have done for me, for granted. I love you, Hellen.

Always, and forever.