Notes

Write a note in this area. It's really eaHey. I'm 17 and about to be a senior in August. This is a weird story and I would appreciate some help through it. I have a tl;dr at the bottom.

It started off in 7th grade. I established an innocent crush on an Asian girl in a class. She wasn't popular or anything, but she had a lot of friends in an Asian group called the "Asian circle." Weird, but remember, we were middle schoolers. I wasn't a part of this Asian circle - albeit I was Asian, so there wasn't a chance for me to talk to her. In addition, she always seemed busy with her other friends and I was too shy to say anything. So, when looking through her Instagram and her old posts, I discovered she went to a school in China before moving here - and I assumed she missed all her friends. My shyness decided to take advantage of that.

This is weird it all gets serious and weird. I created a new Instagram account to pose as a student from her school in China, named Kevin. I DMed her and basically told her I went to her school and would love to catch up with her again. We began talking. As expected, our little middle schooler chemistry was amazing. I loved talking with her and she loved to talk to me, and I felt so good about it. However, she soon asked for proof I was who I said I was. I knew she would do this, and this is kind of sick, but I had fake pictures and videos I took from a random Chinese kids Instagram account to pretend to be him. I sent her these to keep talking with her, and she temporarily believed it because of how determined I seemed. We went on for about a year, talking until the middle of 8th grade or so. Unfortunately, my false identity began to fail when she said she couldn't find me in the yearbook. I made excuses saying they probably forgot me, and on and on. We still talked, but she still seemed even more hesitant on opening up. Soon enough her parents forced her to block me and we couldn't talk anymore, and I was devasted. She also moved after 8th grade and in person, I decided to tell her I like her, but I left it at that - I didn't want her to draw connections between Kevin and me. And, however, I still wanted to talk to her. After all, this was basically the love of my life at the time. So, I made the amazing move of DMing her friend, let me call her Amy, to ask her if she can unblock me.

This is the main part of my post. I talked with Amy and asked her if she could help the things with my crush (I didn't mention I had a crush on her, I just said I wanted to keep talking with her) but Amy agreed with my original crush that it was tough to verify who I was, so she said she couldn't, but she tried for about a month. While this happened, Amy and I were talking regularly for fun. She didn't care about who I was because I seemed so innocent. Eventually Amy and I were talking for the rest of 8th grade and all of 9th grade. I loved to talk with her. It was, surprisingly, so much better than talking with my original crush. She was incredible. She and I were literally perfect and she made my day every time we talked. Thing is, we talked about China a lot as she was from China as well, and I was just pretending I was - while I did a pretty good job to say the last. While there were moments where she mentioned my original crush and that she still won't unblock me, I told her it was ok and just wanted to keep in touch with her. Unfortunately, her real friends were finding about this and in essence made fun of her, so she decided to stop talking to me once we became sophomores. I tried to restart our conversations, but I didn't want to appear desperate or get blocked, so I stopped as well. To this day we still haven't talked, almost seniors in high school. However, I'm still insanely in love with her. She's incredibly beautiful and thinking about her makes my heart hurt lol - and a ton of other dudes like her as well. Despite all this, I've never communicated with her in person. Ever. Not even once. She doesn't know I exist. My original crush knows me because I did tell her I liked her, but Amy doesn't at all. So since senior year is coming and we're never going to see each other again after, I'm so confused about whether I should talk to Amy, confess the truth about Kevin, or just move on and forget her. It's tough to do this because of how long she's been in my mind. I'm not saying she's all I think about every day, but seeing her in school always gives me a smile on my face and I always have this feeling of wanting to go and talk to her but I can't. I really don't know what to do and now at 17, I'm super embarrassed about this Instagram thing. Any help?

TL;DR : Had a crush in 7th grade, was too shy to talk to her irl, made an insta account pretending to be her old friend from her school in china, we talked & had fun, she got suspicious of who I was, tried to give fake photos but still sus, got blocked 8th grade, messaged her friend to ask her to unblock me, began liking the friend more than the original crush, talked until the end of 9th grade, stopped talking in 10th cause her friends were making fun of her, still in love with her, senior year coming and want to talk to her in person, but not sure if I should just forget about her and forget about this whole kevin thing as well.

I can also send proof of any conversations with Amy if necessary, this isn't some troll.sy to share with others. Click here ...