Notes

I think I’m losing you but I will never regret choosing you, cause I am in love, and for now that will be enough. And the ones around me convinced me that I was the only person dumb enough to believe that you and I had hope, but now I know even after you began to let your emotions slow, the reason I stood alone was because I was the only one who knew our love was never gonna let go. Everyone wanted me to see that we could not thrive so gouge out my eyes. Cause if this is reality then I guess I’m not alive. Cause I don’t know a life in where I can’t make things right. And when life teaches you to drive, and you finally say goodbye, and you won’t let me stand by your side; I’ll know that though some feelings are hurt, none will have died. Cause I used to stay up at night and picture myself looking in your eyes, shouting as you would sigh. How dare you think you can fall asleep with water dripping from the kitchen sink. How dare you think you can fall asleep with all these little leaks in this home that we built in our dreams. A picture’s worth a thousand words or whatever people say to me. It’s hard to believe when your mind is lost and in need, and all you can picture is a memory inside of someone else’s sheets. A prayer that nothing will keep. A hope that light will seep before the dark sinks too deep. Or at least the sinking feeling inside of me will be decreased when the release of perceived dreams burn in the flame of feeling free. So feel free to be free if that’s what you need. And if someday you feel alone, and everything caves in when you try to breathe, know that you’re not alone as far as I can see. Cause you were everything to me. Through this, I’ve realized that if I were a god, we would have all just died. Cause darling, you were mine, and now I feel so dead inside. And what good am I if all I can create is a projection of my own mind. A dream of finding time to remind you that I’m still here and I’m not fine. And darling, if you leave, just remember who you are, and do what you can to remember me. Maybe someday we can talk about our past. And we can talk about the weather. Whenever you leave, I don’t care what I’m remembered for. I just want to be remembered. Cause even if I fail you, at least I tried. And maybe our lives don’t add up now, but someday our graves will look the same when we both die. And if I had a chance, I’d give you one last kiss, and I’d bite down on your lip and I’d try to puncture it. So you’ll never forget that time that you’ll always regret. And darling, I know sometimes life will take a turn for the worst. And sometimes life will even hurt. And I know somedays, somedays you’re afraid of the lessons you’ll have to learn. And somedays you’ll even feel burned. And I wanna let you know, I wanna love you through them but I always get what I deserve.