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July 9th 2014. I woke up without hopes in my life. It's all gone. I feel empty.
Yesterday he replied my bbm, he asked me not to act like we're dating anymore. He told me that we're just friends. Tears were coming from my eyes and fell to my cheeks. I didn't believe what he said, I still don't believe it. He broke all my hopes. My body is weak. Not sure what I'm going to do. Not sure where I'm going to go. I'm just really broken. I thought if I didn't give up he'd come back to be mine. No, I was wrong. He decided to go, and it's his decision. He won't change his mind and open his heart. He doesn't need me anymore. What am I doing here?
It's too late, I can't do anything now. All I can do is pray.
But now I know, it's not about what I want. It's about what he wants. I love him from the deepest part of my heart. If he wants us to be just friends, it's fine. I'm okay with it. I can't force him to do what I want him to do. He has his decision. I want him to be happy. And if it will make him happy then I'm okay with it. Because loving somebody means you should let them be happy, right? That's what I learn.
Okay, Panji, I'm sorry for being selfish. I now understand what you have decided. So now we can be friends :) Okay?
-R. I.
     
 
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