Notes

“June 03, 2016”
How can I forget this date? It’s probably one of the most remarkable days of my life. It was the day when I got to meet my Peterpans, my precious boys, EXO. At such a young age, I know my actions seem to be very childish and I do not always take things seriously. But, there’s one decision I had back then that I will never regret. And that is being an EXO L... I was probably born to be one. I didn’t know a day would come. That I’ll get to know someone whom I could spend my youth with. There are many boy groups in kpop that are all very talented and inspirational. However, EXO touched me. They caught my attention. 6 years have passed but the feelings kept growing. I can't help but fall in love with them over and over again.
“Why choose EXO among the others?”
“Why do you love them so much?”
Questions that I’ve been always asked. Seems to be easy but always leaves me speechless. There's no exact reason why I continue to stan them. It's not enough for me to explain why bc it's beyond words. Fangirling and stanning over EXO is not a hobby for me anymore. It’s part of my way of living now. I didn’t know what love felt like until they filled my heart with pieces of themselves. I’ve never loved someone other than EXO and at the same time, I’ve never felt loved by someone other than them. I have never known such fullness, an ocean of feelings overflowing into the emptiest parts of me. I just want them to be part of my life, but they became my world. My life is far from being perfect but I’m glad they’re part of it.
I stan EXO not just because of their looks. Aside from their hardwork and talents, their humbleness never fails to amaze me. They are the nation’s pick for a reason. They are EXO Ls pick for a reason. It’s been more than 6 years since their debut but they’re still at the top of the game. They have faced many difficulties. Right from the other members departure from the group, to antis attacking them almost everyday. They were called SM’s first failure back then but they proved them wrong and overcame all the hurdles with their hardwork. And now, here they are breaking their own records, making history and receiving all the recognitions they deserve to have. I admit that all K-pop groups are hardworking, but EXO’s journey has blood with it.
One group, thousands of feelings. Unfortunately, the only way to love them is from a distance. Yes, I fell in love with someone who doesn’t know I exist. Yet, I still chose to love them. Loving them is an understatement. They’re much more like an oxygen that my body needs in order to work and function. I could not imagine my life without their presence. EXO is my happy pill. It's just that when they are happy, I'm also happy. I love them with every cell that composes me. I love them with every ounce of blood coursing around my body. I love them with every blink of my eyes. I find strength in their smiles. I just love them just the way they are. I love how they are perfect with their imperfections.
They saved me from my own madness. The reason why I'm still holding onto a thin thread of life, the ones who brought happiness to my dull world, and the reason why I'm pursuing my interests and pushing myself everyday. Their voices are like a lullaby to my ears whenever I'm tired and almost giving up in life. They allowed me to escape the harsh reality. They made me believe that I can be happy when there are times that I feel like falling apart. For the past years, depression kept coming back to the point that I don’t have the will to do anything but, they helped me fight this difficult battle. People might never take my desire to support EXO seriously. That to some people, it might seem childish but they became my inspiration and strength during the most painful phases of growing up. They made me think that there will always be persons who can keep me going. They also made me realize that it is okay to cry. It’s okay not to be okay. We are humans being pained, being broken, but time will heal it. We have witnessed how pained we were in the past but here we are standing up proudly and walking with them in the flower path. I may not be there since the first root grew, but I promise to stay until the last leaf drops from the tree.
EXO has proven that not all angels have wings, and not all heroes wear capes.
Fans? They don’t treat us like that. They see us more like their own daughters. We may be a lot in their eyes, but I know we are loved by them equally.
I may not have that many albums and other official merch. I may not be present in most of their concerts or other important events in their lives... But I only have one promise ... that no matter what, EXO will always be my first and last favorite. Nothing’s constant in this world but one thing for sure, I won’t get tired supporting them. I wish I could say it in a more eloquent and romantic manner but let me summarize my feelings in just seven honest and sincere words. “ I love EACH of you so much.” 💕