Notes

Hello, I am 19 year old male.
My name is Vladimir, it is nice to meet you.
You can call me Vlad, Vlado or you could find your own nickname for me if we are gonna stay in contact or talk.
I am born on 26th of October, 1999. in a small and poor country in South Eastern Europe called "Serbia".
I am really sorry if you have something against my age, nationality, race or whatever but all I can say is just don't contact me and things will be fine for both of us.
I am actually mixed tho: Croatian, Hungarian, Czech and German.
So I need to tell you what are my views and opinions on life, love, friendships, family, etc and if yours are different and you disagree don't contact me at all because I can't help you at all, we can't be true friends or anything except if you would like to change to be like me.
If someone didn't go through same things as you or at least similar ones things how do you expect that person to understand you at all?
It is a obvious lie that everyone can understand everything, they just simply can't, they can tolerate you and feel sorry for you but that is it.
So what I am trying to say here is if you read my story and you see some differences between us you should ask yourself can that change, I mean if you want to change and be like me no problem but if you don't and we are different about those most important things just please do not contact me.
It might sound stupid and weird to you but please don't waste your time on me and do not waste my time I don't want to talk to you if we are different.
You are not gonna be able to understand me even if you think that you will you are wrong maybe about few things but I don't want you to pity me and tolerate me I want you to avoid me and don't talk to me at all.
Yes I can't really help you if you are not like me maybe this story thought you something and maybe I could give you another advice but that is it besides that we can't do anything and we can't try anything either.
Yes all males can leave now if they don't need any help, perverted girls as well because I am not a pervert, please only girls that are really like me should email me so we can help each other and I am sure something will happen with the time I mean true friendship if it is meant to be.
I don't really care about age or your location either if love is true it will always find a way but if you do sorry again but just don't contact me and no problems.
I also don't care about your race or nationality either I am not a racist or nationalist, I am against all kinds of hate, discrimination, violence, etc.
So again same goes with this as well if we disagree we can't be true friends I could try to help you somehow but nothing more than that
I actually never even had an actual relationship and yes I am still a virgin.
I did had online relationships but they don't really count not because they ended also because I never really met any of those girl in real life.
But there is something else you should understand, there might be a lots of people that just like you or me went through a lot of bad things and let's say that person or people can completely understand us when it comes to that pain but that still doesn't mean that they can understand us about everything else so they probably made different choices and they want to make different choices that yours or mine.
So even if they wanted to help us that doesn't mean that they care and obviously their "help" wouldn't be much helpful, it would actually in almost all cases make things even worse for us so don't expect anyone besides your one and only true friend to be actually helpful at all because no we can't help ourselves either.
There is no true love without complete understanding and no you can't completely understand everyone, you can understand everyone but only about few things that you have in common with them.
That would mean that I can't really help you just as you can't help me either if we are not same, also others that are not like me can't help either, nothing and no one can help besides true friend so if you disagree on that you can just leave if you are not here just because you need some help from me.
You need to know that you are able to give certain amount of love, emotions, time and other things to someone and if we say that is 100% then the more people you have the less each of those people get and don't forget that there are also in some cases stupid things and stupid animals as well.
Well I just want to say that I am not wasting my emotions, time or anything on people, things or animals, people are anyways selfish and truly care only about themselves, oh yes they do because they put themselves on first place and then comes everyone and everything else.
I am firstly not like that, I am not selfish, narcissistic, egoistic or anything like that, no I don't love myself, I don't care about myself or anything like that, I am not wasting my time, emotions or anything on anyone or anything at all.
Yes I am a human being and I need attention, love, caring, etc. but I want someone to give me 100% of all of it just like I would give her.
I would love to meet a girl that can completely understand me, that is like me, that will love me and respect me for who I really am.
I am demisexual so I only like girls but I don't care about looks or anything like that, I am ugly, not handsome and poor anyways.
If looks matters to you or money does you can leave because I don't want you to judge me because of my body or money.
I also would like to be only person and thing in life of that person just as she would be mine, she would be my everything and she would always be on my first and only place.
I am really jealous and I would feel like I am not good enough, I would feel bad, hurt and betrayed if there was anyone or anything besides me so please make the right decision and if you have to leave please just do it.
I want to be with her all the time, it doesn't matter is it just on audio call, video call or in person but what matters is that if we can be on call we should be even if we are sleeping, pooping, peeing, eating and doing whatever we still need to be all the time together.
Anyways people who can't understand us simply can't love us, they can't really care about us, etc. yes what they could do is tolerate us, pity us, like us but not really like us just like some things about us, try to help us or take care of us but they are not gonna actually be able to do anything even if they wanted to so it would be waste of time and emotions.
Only reasons why would they want to help is not because they care it is because they pity us, they feel sorry for us, they might also feel guilty if they don't help us.
They are basically not important and they are people that we need to get rid of and I don't want them in my life at all.
Like I said I am not wasting my time and emotions on anyone or anything which means I have no friends and I don't want any, I do live with my family but I would love to soon as possible leave and never come back again.
So basically if you want friends, family or anyone besides me just leave please, I would like to be good enough to someone and I want true loyalty so just my true friend and me.
I also am not interested in anything, no hobbies, no jobs, no dreams, goal, plans, there is nothing.
I know that everything is just waste of my time and emotions, it is all just obsession and addiction and no those things don't help, you can't really enjoy in them, like them or whatever.
You can only lie to yourself and others how they help, how you like them, enjoy doing them, how you are good at them or whatever but that is miserable.
So same goes with other stupid things or animals if you want them and need them please don't contact me at all.
I am not employed at the moment but yes I should find a stupid job soon and yes I will admit it I am really lazy and I don't want to work for no reason.
All I do is lay down, sleep, cry, eat, sleep, drink, poop, pee, etc. I would like just to be with someone 24/7 and to get to know each other 100%.
You do need to know someone 100% in order to actually love that person and respect that person just the way that person is.
Yes you do need to be same as that person I am obviously not saying that you should be a clone of that person or anything like that but you need to completely understand each other in order to be able to agree on everything with that person and actually help that person or other way there never will be any actual love, feelings, emotions, caring, helping, etc. that is why I keep saying if we don't have same opinion on all the things I said here and we can't we can't be true friends either and I am not gonna be that much helpful to you.
Sure that mean that almost all love, caring, emotions, feelings, etc. are fake and made of lies I know that and I am aware of that but you should be as well and stop saying bullshit how someone need me, love me, care about me, like me or whatever because I know the real truth.
There is only one and only true friend for everyone but it is different for everyone it depends what they want most of people are just selfish.
I do not see the point of having family, friends or any person besides my true friend I want her and only her she is way more than good enough for me.
Same goes with all the things, yes if we will do something, we will do it only sometimes and together but most of the time we should just enjoy in small and simple things and just doing nothing while we are together of course.
I am antisocial, introvert, I have social anxiety, I hate talking to people and being around them, I lie to them, ignore them, avoid them, etc. I go out when I really have to and I talk to people also when I really have to.
I don't really have social medias and I hate them, I have my email address that I can give you, I have skype and I would prefer us to use Whats App I don't have it at the moment but I can make it and we can be there but if you do have something besides those either you will get rid of it but only if you really want to either you can just simply leave and go to find someone else because we obviously disagree about this.
I also hate taking any kinds of pictures so not just selfies and not to forget I am against any kind of changing your body with tattoos, make up, any kind of jewelry, piercings, etc. so if you disagree about both of those things either you leave or either you agree with me it is all up to you.
All of my mental issues and problems came from my family, those few friends that I used to have and stupid things that I was addicted to and obsessed with by that I don't mean drugs, tobacco, alcohol, coffee or anything like that I don't do that and I am against it so if you do any of that you should either stop or either leave.
Anyways what I was talking about is listening to music, watching some stupid videos, playing video games, watching movies, tv series, etc. or basically anything besides laying in my bed, sleeping, eating, drinking, pooping, peeing and other stuff that I really have to do.
Everyone and everything they all can only make things even worse for us that is what you need to know.
For me blood connection means nothing and friends are just like family only difference between those two is that you can choose friends and there is no blood connection, usually they are about your age but if you are different they just try to change you, they bully you, they just destroy your whole life so you either become like everyone else, you kill yourself or something like that.
Only difference between friends is that some will act, pretend and lie better than others but yes that is just because they have to act like that.
I have to act like that towards everyone because that is necessary but I want a true friend to be completely honest with, someone who I can be all the time with and not to feel sick of each other, no fighting, arguing or anything like that, someone who I can completely trust, depend on, someone to care about, someone to fight for, someone to live for, etc.
I also want to let you all know that true love and true friendship never ends, no matter what happens they stay together forever.
Your true friend is your soulmate, your true family those feelings and things never end because they are real.
So yes same goes with things I just said either you disagree and you have to leave either you agree with me.
I am alone for my whole life and I am thinking about suicide because I can't live like this anymore it is so painful and hard to deal with everything on my own but yes no one really gives a fuck, I don't even know what I am waiting for it is not like I will ever find a true friend but yeah that is just life and life sucks.
I am not asking anyone for help specially those who are not like me, my true friend will help me by just being there all the time with me other can only make things worse so please don't try to help me.
I am so sorry if you never get a reply it is probably because I killed myself but I will usually reply to you if I am alive as soon as possible, if I am sleeping then it will take me sometimes even about 12 hours to wake up and come to reply but yes usually I will reply really really fast it just depends.
When it comes to my religion I am an atheist but I also do believe that there might be something or someone I am not sure but there probably is but obviously that God has nothing to do with those that humans created and stupid religions that are made of lies and that just divide us.
So also we need to agree on religion as well or you can just leave.
Just remember that we have to agree on all the stuff I said in this story to be true friends and at least to some if you want me to be somehow helpful to you, everyone else who is not here for help and is not like me either and don't want to change should not contact me at all.
Thanks a lot for reading all this, for those who would like us to talk because they need my help or want us to try to be true friends my email address is [email protected]