Notes

Okay, so today is Saturday, August 17th and to be exact it been a little over 4 years where I have been lying to everyone in my life. Everyone thinks that I'm such a happy person sometimes wish I could run away from life though. Do you know what it's like to live a life you don't even mean? I hate myself a little more every day because no one knows that I'm lying to them, but I want to tell them, but I'm scared they'll make fun of me. Some of my friends are always complaining about their life and how it sucks and that they need someone to talk to, well I also need someone to talk to but I'm afraid no one will want to listen. I'm sorry if I'm being selfish by saying this but I think I'm a good friend always being there for them, but none of them are they same they never listen to me rant, I never talk about my "dark" feelings, and I don't really complain about stuff. Sometimes I think about cutting just once though I've read about it and hear people talking about it and I really want to do it. I won't though because I don't want to be a bother to people I don't want people worrying about me it's too much all these feelings bottled up. I really need to talk to someone but I don't think anyone will listen, but of course, I will never talk about me wanting to cut or overdose because one of my friends have overdosed before and it sounds terrifying yet I still want to do it.