Notes

Ardently has joined the chat
Ardently: heyeyeyeyeyeyy
Psi: hey
Ardently: why u sound low energy
Psi: sup bratz
Ardently: hOW ARE U
Ardently: I LOVE U
Ardently: I MISSED U
Psi: lol
Psi: come
Ardently: I CLIMB U
Psi: i want to talk to you
Psi: about something
Ardently: yesyes
Psi: ok so there's this thing
Ardently: is it serious?
Psi: i feel like has been there for a while
Psi: that made me feel a bit off about our friendship
ArdentlyArdently : oh
Ardently: alright, do tell
Psi: and i wanted to say it but i brushed it off
Psi: but i think
Psi: if we resolve it
Psi: it can be a strong friendship
Ardently: we definitely should resolve it
Ardently: I like transparency
Psi: yeah same
Ardently: if I was a dick, I wanna know
Psi: no but see
Psi: i like making friends with people who are willing to stick with me no matter if i were wrong or right
Psi: and if i were wrong
Psi: they'd straight up yell at me for it get aggressive idc
Ardently: honestly, I'm pretty anti-confrontational, but I really care about you and respect you, so if you called me out on being shitty
Ardently: you'd probably be right
Psi: yeah but wait
Ardently: but I won't take shit from just anybody
Psi: that's the thing
Psi: when the issa situation happened
Psi: remember you were like
Psi: i don't take sides
Ardently: yeah, I was furious about what she did
Ardently: I didn't wanna take sides and kept my patience for as long as I could, but my advice wasn't considered in the least by her
Ardently: so I stopped considering her too
Psi: and i got pissed because i wasn't asking you to take sides, but it felt like you could've just ditched me if i fucked up and take her side on it - like i didn't feel secure in this friendship
Ardently: okay wait hold on
Ardently: let me read this again, I think I'm out of tune here
Psi: the kind of friendships i like are i will take your side no matter what, i want to be able to feel secure
Ardently: I see
Psi: and taking my side doesn't mean instantly ditching issa
Psi: or stop being friends with her
Ardently: the kind of friendships I like are where people are being objective, but still very perceptive of others' emotions
Psi: but taking my side is believing my side of the story, because i don't sugar coat shit
Ardently: I like when people really love me, but still are able to take a step back and say "wait, you really were being a dick just now", instead of taking my side on arguments and stuff
Ardently: Oh but I do believe you though
Psi: yeah that's what i like too, being real
Psi: but i want to feel secure in this friendship
Ardently: I've never once thought you lied about anything or exaggerated facts, you speak from your feelings but you're also able to be objective and consider other sides into your story
Psi: i know your intentions are always good, like i know you're a good person
Ardently: you think I'll ditch you if you make a 'wrong choice' ?
Ardently: can you give me an example? it feels a bit vague
Psi: that was the only example
Psi: you told me hey i'm not taking sides
Psi: and in my head i'm like what
Ardently: Okay, but I was put in a situation where that's what was asked of me
Psi: i never asked you to take sides though
Ardently: you're a very close friend of mine, but I was stuck between two friends
Ardently: and I had to listen to both sides
Ardently: that required me to not wholly support one person, but understand each perspective
Ardently: that's what I focused on
Ardently: I'm very fueled by emotions, so I forced myself to take an objective stance, but that doesn't mean at all that I'd abandon either of you for making the wrong choice
Ardently: honestly, the choice you guys made wasn't even my business to begin with
Ardently: it was your relationship with her
Psi: that's the thing, we've known each other longer, if you aren't able to take my side of the story and believe it was the truth since i don't sugar coat shit then how is this a strong friendship? - this has nothing to do with talking to issa btw, but just about you telling me that you're going to listen to both sides and not taking sides that turned me off
Ardently: the reason I got angry at issa and abandoned her was because she continuously went against everything I said, then demanded that I listen, ignored my advice again, then tell me that I just don't understand how she feels
Psi: what i felt had nothing to do with issa, but more of how secure i felt
Ardently: I think internally, I believed you and agreed with you much more
Ardently: but I was kinda scared of showing that because I was so hellbent on being objective
Psi: i did tell you straight up i fucked up with issa and never told her earlier that it's not going to work out
Ardently: that doesn't mean I didn't understand or believe you though
Ardently: oh by the way? I just broke up myself yesterday and got my periods today
Ardently: just sidenote AHAHAHAH
Psi: broke?
Ardently: if I go bring emotions into this, it's probs the hormones
Ardently: yeah, we'll get into that later
Ardently: I wanna address this
Psi: yeah i want to get it out of the way
Ardently: because it's a little complex to understand still
Psi: because i like clarity etc
Ardently: you wanted me to take your side, yes?
Ardently: while still listening to both sides?
Psi: taking my side to me is believing me blindly, taking my side is NOT terminating your friendship with issa or not hearing her out etc (saying you 'have' to hear her out made me feel like me explaining the story wasn't enough info for you to decide wrong from right)
Psi: i didn't feel like you believed me in the way you reacted/expressed yourself
Ardently: but Anna, when two people are involved, you do have to understand both sides
Ardently: understanding is why I did that
Ardently: not because I didn't believe you
Ardently: but because
Ardently: the things she did and said to you
Ardently: came from something she felt
Ardently: to understand her actions towards you, I had to understand her
Ardently: and to understand your actions towards her, I had to understand you
Psi: i felt like i explained the whole situation well, and her position in the story
Ardently: you did
Ardently: I mentioned it earlier
Ardently: you were considering different perspectives too
Ardently: it told me you were very aware of what you did
Ardently: did you feel like I went behind your back or something, when I had a talk with her about the same issue?
Psi: that's the thing i never felt like you believed it when i explained/considered the whole story and insisted on hearing both sides of the story
Psi: i want to feel like you are able to trust my explainations, trust my character etc
Ardently: I can understand how that must've felt, but did you think you considered and were able to know everything there is to know, even from issa's end?
Psi: and no nothing about the behind my back shit that's highschool stuff
Ardently: I always, always trust you dude
Psi: yeah, i argued with her hours on end so i am able to analyze the situation well
Ardently: does it still feel like I didn't trust you back then?
Ardently: I think I wanna point out the difference in scenarios here, actually
Psi: and you talking with her/staying friends with her i never got bothered by at all, it's just the fact that my story wasn't enough for you
Ardently: say I never met Issa, and you were in this argument with her
Psi: yes, i didn't feel like you trusted me
Ardently: I'd definitely understand and trust everything you explained to me
Ardently: but I was in an awkward position where both of you were talking to me about the same fight
Ardently: even if I didn't want to listen to both sides
Ardently: I think I'd have to
Ardently: if I wanted to be of any help anyways
Psi: nel i don't have an issue with that, but you said it like you had to compare/contrast/analyze this whole thing when i just wanted someone to listen and believe my story
Ardently: hi am I still connected
Psi: you were judge judy when i just wanted you to be my friend
Psi: yes
Ardently: I see
Ardently: I'm sorry about that