Notes

Hi,

Today is also the same mood, but what can I do. I will be like this, I cannot always make others happy. There is some point where everyone got angry with me and I can't even tell them why I am like that. I cannot tell my heart feelings that how I feel when someone says that why are you sad. All I know is that I am sad and no one is there for me to which I can tell my whole story. How I am feeling and how will I feel. I love her very much but I cannot tell this to her everytime. I cannot make her feel special every time. But she never understands that how much I loved her and still how much I love her. She just thinks I want her body, but she don't even know that lust is far different than love. I love her. I always wanted that she will say that she also loves me but she never said and she also said that I am just a mode of distraction for her and I am just a toy for her, with whom she can play every time she is feeling sad and leave every time when she wants. Whom she can call anytime and anywhere just for the thing that she wants to meet and talk. If sometimes I call her when I need her the most, then she just say NO and say that there is cold outside. She is also right, who I am for her. I am just an timepass. I loved her by my heart but she never understand that because she just thinks of her past and she thinks that one day I leave her and she will be alone again, but she don't even know