Notes

1. Sakshi and I had a relationship for like a month. We decided to break it off the second I left Patna for college. I had feelings for her and probably still have some. And We had one make out session

2. I kinda had a very small nothing with Sadia. She is probably the first girl who told me that she loved me. I don't know if she did or she didn't but that's what she said. It was my 9th right before my finals. I was kinda into the idea of a relationship, so I said I loved her too when I was not sure. I freaked out, didn't talk a couple days and then told her that. It might not count like a relationship but its still something.

3. I kinda developed feelings for Praneeta last year. It was rough since I didn't get any signals from her. I even went ahead and told her that I liked her (I was sober, not the drunk text I showed you) and didn't get an appropriate reply from her, thus making a colossal mess for myself

4. I do think that we have kind of become platonic and I don't think we think of each other as relationship thing. I do love you with all my heart though. So, when I say that I don't want to get the best friend tag, it is because that would mean I have to tell you every little or big shit that happen in my life which I'm not ready for. I have commitment issues so even this kinda commitment is huge for me.

5. I usually get some matches on tinder but I never do a good conversation because i don't like talking to them.

6. I am so in love with Avani. I have a huge huge crush on her. When we were not talking, I used to think so much about her and I still kinda do. I deliberately forgot my keys a couple times so that i can hang out at her home but those failed. I stalked her for a week until I sent her a follow request. I really doubt if she even slightly feels the same way about me. I think she's so cool and I love to listen about her stuff. I overthink so much when I'm with her.

7. My love for Avani keeps getting stronger. But I am certain she is currently interested in another guy and I'm trying my best not to feel jealous. It literally feels as if someone stabbing my heart a hundred times. Fuck, I was never going to be the one sided deep in love. I used to despise those people so much. Fuck fuck fuck. What should I do?

8. So, said another guy is in a serious relationship. I saw today how jealous she was when said guy was not giving her any attention.