Notes

Earlier this morning when I was shopping for groceries I realized the store was crowded and then suddenly I wanted to take a bite out of them for some reason. Does anyone else get this feeling? I still had it when I got home so I decided to go down to my dungeon and eat some of the people there. I ate two people before my hunger was satisfied. Again, does this happen to anyone else?

I regret making this topic. Almost as much as I regret eating Megumi and Sakura, I had so much fun going down to my dungeon each night and seeing how much pain I could put them in before they started crying. I had many different methods you know. Sometimes I'd get the whip and on other days it'd be the knife to put a few cuts in them. Now they're dead. I couldn't help it! I mean, it's not like I could just take a bite out of random people I've never met before. How would little Johnny feel if he saw me taking a bite out of his parents at the shopping mall? It'd traumatise him.
Besides, I overheard Megumi and Sakura discussing their escape plans the other day. I couldn't let my favourites run away like that. No, if anything I'd have one last laugh with them before they're gone. Yes they were my favourites but I can't let them get away with stuff like that. So I decided to satisfy my hunger with their flesh. I ate Sakura first in front of Megumi so she would know what was coming next. She cried a little as I enjoyed my meal, it was kind of irritating but I put up with it.
I eventually finished eating them both and luckily there was no whining when I ate Megumi since her only friend was already dead. I left the brains though, the greyish colour was particularly unappetising so I've put them to the side in case of a zombie apocalypse. Never know when a cute zombie will show up asking for brains, huh? Anyway yeah this was kind of a learning experience for me. Flesh does taste good but something about Megumi overall tasted better than Sakura... I'll keep that in mind for future reference.

Got a little hungry earlier so I decided to kidnap some more anime girls. I couldn't stand the hunger any longer so I was forced to eat one on the way back home, the others seen me eating her and started crying so I beat them 'til they were unconscious. It's the only way to stop them from crying in situations like this. They should be waking up soon, I'll go down and maybe eat another or two. I haven't bothered to give them names. It's not like they'll be anything more than food... we don't give pet names to the other food we eat, now, do we?

~0~0~

I was digging around the local graveyard as usual when I was suddenly approached by a police officer, who said they were checking reports for a suspicious man in the area. They noticed the grave before me which I had defaced and before they could say anything I took out my pistol and shot them in the head and ran away. When I got back to town my face was all over the news, it appeared that I was now a wanted criminal for some reason? All I wanted to do was have some fun ffs. Anyway I realised that I was now basically a fugitive but before I went on the run there was something I needed. I ran home, retrieved the memory stick containing 42GB of guro, put it in my pocket and ran back out. Of course I knew I wouldn't get far on foot so I killed my neighbours and stole their car.
I didn't know how to drive but I managed to learn the basics pretty quick. I only killed five people before I knew how to drive straight. Eventually I was out of town when a car started chasing after me. The sound of loud hip-hop made me suspect it was one of the local gangs and this was confirmed when bullets started flying. I looked behind and seen Big D, the most infamous criminal in the country. He was trying to kill me, probably for fun, he's like that sometimes. I reached into the back and took out a machine gun I put their earlier when stocking up for the trip and started shooting back. I killed a few of them until only Big D remained, he stared in shock and I shot him too. The car then swerved off the road and killed a few innocent bystanders.
When I looked forwards again I noticed by car was about to hit a preschool so I jumped out with only my pistol as it continued its journey towards the building. I ran away on foot as the distant screams could be heard behind me, running until I reached a nearby forest. I thought I'd hide out here for a while. However no sooner had I found a clearing that another police officer found me. "You are under arrest," he said as a swarm of officers surrounded the area. I laughed. Little did they know, I had a trick up my sleeve. I took my fingers and put them between my mouth. The officers stared in shock as they tried to anticipate my next move. Without warning, I whistled, and an ungodly amount of dick-shaped tentacles erupted from the ground. The officers merely screamed in helplessness as thousands of long phallic tentacles dragged them to their cold silent graves.
Once again I left the forest and soon found a nearby cliff. This cliff made me contemplate my life. I was now little more than a fugitive, homeless and alone, hunted. My life was now worthless. Before I had time to act, a beam of light appeared before me and Jesus appeared. "My son, you have sinned, repent now and-" that was all he said before I suplexed him to the ground and unloaded the rest of my pistol ammunition into his face. Then I picked him up by the feet and span him around like those boss fights in SM64 until centrifugal force hit its limit and I sent him flying off the cliff. He screamed as he met his watery demise and before I realised how I had prevented the second coming of Christ I felt a wave of energy surge through my body.
Killing Jesus gave me a new sense of motivation. Right then, right there I knew what I must do. I decided to become a vigilante, killing in the name of justice and snooping around the local mausoleums when I felt like it. I walked away from the cliff with a sense of pride as I went to find a new gun and more ammunition. From now on, I was no longer a criminal. I was a hero.

That was a few weeks ago now. I've already killed a hundred people and dug up twice as many graves. I do not want to die now, I do not fear my life for I know I act in the name of justice. I am the one true vigilante.

Update: I was running low on money so I killed some homeless people and stole their life savings.

~0~0~

How many people would you kill for a billion dollars?

How often do you think about death?

Favourite method of death?

~0~0~

I hear the void calling to me, darkSpyro. Each night it calls. Again and again, its endless torment, imploring me into the unknown. Yet within this despicable woe there is... solace. As if the universe aligned for such an act. Towards the void my soul is drawn, a cosmic force defying the very nature of reality as we know it. The darkness comes closer each day! I know now that the breathes I take are merely a countdown to my fate, every step I take guiding me towards eternal damnation! My soul, my very essence of being, cannot deny this force... my attempts are futile. Nothing I can do or say will change my fate. From nothing we come, to nothing we go. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Thus it must be - see it not as death but as a return to being. All that exists must in turn go extinct. This is the only truth in such a godforsaken world! Even as I lament my Earthly knowledge unto you the darkness grows stronger, I can feel it now, the icy tingle of oblivion crawling up my spine. Soon my time will come. I shall leave this world with no regrets at all, knowing the strength of my will can be passed down to a new generation is all the solace that I would ever want from here. From one solace to another, the grand solace of the void and a return to being, it is a wonderful thing. The darkness that calls me forevermore. Soon upon me, yet I do not fear. I will go. To my fate, to the existence I was born to return into. This is it... my final goodbye. My friends, my companions, farewell! Farewell forever...

I hate my life so much. My only joy is knowing that I someday will leave this world behind, in the meantime however I will hate every moment of my life. How about you? Do you hate being alive and always want to die? Post in this topic! Mother****er.

~0~0~

I love my waifu, Yuuka Kazami, very much. Or do I? In reality, she is merely another in an increasingly long lost of fictional characters I have obsessed over, more than likely to be ditched for another by next month. This is because my waifu will never change, yet I grow and change each day. Yuuka will always remain the same. So has Saki Nikaido, Mordred, and all others before her. They are all the same. Little more than blank slates for me to love, if only I knew this emotion. I do not. I try to love but the feeling escapes me. I attempt to recreate this feeling through Japanese cartoons, as if their characters can somehow give me enough comfort to endure this pathetic life. Yet they are all the same. Just a pretty face and nothing more, they can never comfort me, never ease my pain.
My life is so utterly pathetic beyond belief, I have failed in every aspect. I expect even my parents must despise me now. How can anyone feel anything beyond acceptance for someone such as I? I am disgusting. They must look upon my vast anime merchandise and regret the day I was conceived. Why even was I conceived? Why could it not have been someone greater than me to take my place, someone who would grow successful? But it was me. This pathetic waste of life who turns to fictional characters for solace, as if Yuuka could ever heal my soul from these scars. Nobody can, much less someone who does not even exist. I am such a pathetic creature. Why in God's forsaken world have I lived for so long? I deserve to die.
Even if my waifu was real she would not love me anyway, even if we somehow met. Who would? Someone such as myself deserves nothing and shall receive nothing. I look like the ungodly lovechild of an orc and a goblin. Yes, I am disgusting. Nobody could ever love me. Much too lowly for someone such as Yuuka. She would much rather kill me where I stand, and that is precisely what I deserve. I must be slaughtered like the animal I am. No, death by Yuuka's hands is too much. My death should be just as pathetic as my life. Gruesome, slowly and painful, not by someone as beautiful as Yuuka. Meanwhile Yuuka would find someone much more deserving of her love whilst I am left to rot in the gutter. I only hope she can find someone deserving for someone as beautiful as she is.
Of course, again, she will not be real. It is not changing much because, also again, she would never love me. Instead I am left in this life, my sadness eternal, as I cry myself to sleep each night knowing nobody loves me and never will. But what is love? I do not know, for my life is without love, my attempts to replicate the emotion all failures. I only know sadness, which is why I must cry. As the last tear falls and I finally collapse from exhaustion, I am greeted by my nightmares again. Nightmares of Yuuka. She constantly tells me how pathetic I am, even in my dreams there is no escape from this fact, she laughs in my face as I continue crying. Yet in my dreams I never collapse from exhaustion, so I am forced to endure until I awake. The pain is often too much to bear. I try leaving the dreams whichever way I can, but no matter what, I cannot die in dreams either. It only acts as a reminder of my only escape from this living Hell I have trapped myself within. It makes my cry some more.
Them I awake. Crying. My life has been an utter disgrace and death is all I deserve, for falling in what I believe to be love with someone who has never and will never exist. Someone who hates me even in my dreams. How pathetic, that I would turn to these kinds, as my life is so disgraceful. Where do I go from here? Where can I go from here? There is no true solace in my world, only an eventual escape into what I hope to be a better one. One where all is beautiful and I am not so evil as here. Maybe then Yuuka will finally love me, but for as long as I am in this world, in this body, my only option is to wail in despair.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I feel as if it represents my life, an absolute ****up in every way.