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I've always wanted to help others who go through the same thing
As a child who went through trauma throughout her childhood
Family wasn't very easy to accept
Loving can get really hard
because we honestly forget how to do it
Many of us who feel like they are not loved
will forget
how to and the feeling of being loved
mother, I ask of you
please
please
and please
accept me for who I am
I know I am very lacking as an asian child
I know this already
I knew this since I was 6 years old
But I will tell you this
because of you
it is very hard for me to love
and express emotions
because you make it as if having emotions is a sin
I'm insecure, filled with hatred, and horrified because of the things you have taught me and showed me
I'm worried about me and you
As much as I have this deep hatred for you
My heart will not allow me hate as much as I want to
You are my mother
the one who has given me life
the one that raised me to the person I am
Yet I never realized how much you have changed
you are unhappy
it is obvious that you are not happy with yourself
so to cope with it,
you blame everything on me
Like i'm the sinner
and i do everything wrong
mother I hate talking about you to my friends
I don't want them to see you differently
but this is really the last straw
Why can't you just accept that i am human
that i am just your 15 year old daughter that went through hell because of you
My biggest fear
is you
sometimes i try to think about my worst fear and honestly
i couldnt think of anything else
but now i realize it
its just my own mother
Stockholm syndrome is probably what I had
But again let me tell you this
because i cant tell you this in a language that you can understand
psychology is not all about therapy or counseling
but being a therapist or a counselor isnt a bad thing
you say the people that go to therapy are insane
but are you sure you have the right to say that?
mother, we all need help at some point from others
we cant always be alone forever
trust me, I learned it the hard way
the people who go to these session are not weird, insane, or mental
these people who go to these things are people who are in desperate need of someone
mental illness is not something to neglect mother
it is a serious thing that EXISTS in this world
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