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-my mom and her boyfriend keep arguing.
-she keeps telling me to choose sides in they arguments. and i can't. if i don't tho, she will get mad at me.---
and when she is mad at me. and at him, there is a bigger chance of her starting smoking again bc of stress, that means theres a chance of me getting back into that habit as well. bc i use to steal from her, when she did bc her smoking was so constant she didn't notice when i stole some from her. now since they also won't make up...there is a higher chance of me moving again bc he might kick us out again, but this time it could be for good.---
-i keep fucking falling. not literally. but my nerves are enhanced bc of my craving for smoking, drinking, and old habits of drugs. so every time my mom drinks, and i act like im joking when i ask her if i can join in drinking...she says yes, my hopes are so high bc i'm just like "omg i can finally give in, and not care." then she says oh i was just kidding, maybe another time. "like damn." fml.
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