Notes

Dear Dad,

Where am I supposed to start, how come im so torn apart, I woke up today missing you hating myself for it. I hate you... I wanna hate you what happened to bein my dad my armor you turn around and hurt her how you gonna do that huh how you gonna be her "dad" and then laugh in her face when she sad how you gonna hurt her when you supposed how gonna turn ghost when she needs you the most

Who knew writing words could therapeutic?
Seems like music is the only way to get through it
everything is an illusion and i know that im just a human
but i wonder everyday why i just keep on losing
Reminiscing about the times i used to sleep outside
when i would run away from everyone who was mad at me
I remember that once upon a time it wasnt so bad
Back when i was younger and i didnt understand
but its different now and we talk in a different circumstance
The things I would do to see you one more time dad

Then you came along, you held me when i just couldnt move on
Do you remember that night at my home where i cried out my heart song
you were my everything boy. But now you are long gone.
Why did you have to leave me, i did everything for you and beyond
You were the only thing that kept me alive
now how could i ever forget that smile
you helped me when i was scared and in denial
And you were there when i was all alone with no one to dial
It hurts me to think recall all those heart felt memories
Back then it was a remedy but now it puts my life in jeopardy

Why does everyone have to judge from the way i entered this world
The stuff that they do to me is so freaking absurd
seems like everyone around me is always against me
and everyone else is preserved for my family
My friends keep telling me to stop reminiscing
But how could I be so forgiving after who you been kissing
Even from the beginning I was always fulfilling
But I never expected that you outta all people would be the one cheating
Even though you are just a face thats familiar
My visions are bigger and my decisions are clearer
Sometimes I still see your reflection in the mirror
And pain still hurts like a murderer pulling the trigger
Now just because all my 'friends' come back to me cause im funny
I wont ever forgive you from the cheatin and calling me honey

Have you ever been so lost in life where you just dont know what to do next
I feel like my life is hexed just and no one will ever love me dearly
Sometimes i wonder if my parents love me really
Just a 15 year old going through this crap and you might think this is silly
But to me this is my life and im sick of it and i mean it sincerely
But when you vibe to your favourite rappers
All of your problems go away and nothing else ever matters
Logic is my life and it feels like he saves me from my kidnappers
I just wanna see him and spill out my soul with my lifes chapters
To me music and Logic is like the father that i never knew
But he is the man that is going push me through.