Notes

;I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME <
By deepa prasad
Timing 1.30am date 28sep 2017
My dad died from heart failure when i was studied in 2nd year of my collage...thats my tag line; when people ask me about him. it sum up all the information they need , but for me it carries a greater reality, i felt when he died that i will never be the same I will never be the same. as i was before.in some ways i see life as a puzzle, every experience you form a piece of your unique puzzle when combined, they form the entire picture of your life.my dad took a piece of my puzzle with him, a piece that will never return. im incomplete without it,without him.. we share memories that nobody else shares, which means he knew me differently than anyon.....; when someone you love dies , that part of you dies as well.. you cant re-live that memory with anyone else. your puzzle may grow, but you can never replace that missing piece. and because of that i will never be the same my view of the world also changed before dad died, i was young innocent and naive.i saw god beauty in smallest things, plant starting to bud,cocooning butterflies. the exact color blue of the sky.; when i found a four leaf clover, dad laminated it for me to preserve that small wonder, when i had question dad would answer them. he always had answer ; The world had; infinite joys to discover and i had endless curiosity. life seemed to go on forever and i never thought about death after the funeral, that all changed i lost mu parent, my hero and my teacher; . i thought a lot about death and dying... i still had plenty of; question , but nobody to answer them .and they certainly were't fun question.. so i learned things on my own. great big things that i couldn;t have understood any other way.. i learned the importance of telling people that you love them. don't ever let them wonder; how you feel,; of all the things i regret, missing the chance to say i love u; will never be one of ; i also learned to never pass up an opportunity to give or receive a genuine hug. when dad was dying i was terrified .i did't know how to act , what to say; so i sat in silence.sometime being different can be a good thing. At first with bitterness , now with acceptance, i realized; that there is no promise for tommarow. u are given such a small time and u never know where your time will run out many people dont truly appreciate this , how can they if they;re never had to think about death? so treasure your life , make it worthwhile spend your life doing things that make u happy .you may not have the chance later.my life has been fuller , more beautiful, and more fun because i take chances that come to me, if my dad had;t died,would i have always played it safe? would i have hiked that mountain ...; somethings tell me may be not , because of my dad's death i will never be the same .i traded innocence and litting in for understanding and appreciation , i lost my dad but gained something in return. would i give up everything . I've learned if i could have my dad back?i don;t have that option ,the only option i have is to make those changes as valuable as possible..... if dad can see me, i want him to know that he;s still teaching me and still answering; my question....................