Notes

There are some things that Scott expects from dating Tessa.

She is careful. She is stubborn. She is phenomenal.

She is who she is, unashamedly, and owns it. She refuses to change for anyone. She won’t compromise herself in order to appease anyone, and he would not have it any other way.

She, as a person, should be approached in the same way that one would analyze a pressure cooker. Tessa and pressure cookers have quite a lot in common, actually. They both seem normal, at first, and then it begins to boil inside, a deep passion that intensifies from within. She bottles everything up, just like it holds everything in. She holds it in—all her emotions, her feelings, her thoughts—and the pressure inside builds, and builds, and builds. It builds until it no longer can and it is ready to burst—until she is ready to burst and can no longer take it, and she gives in and lets go. Afterward, there is a strong calm and a period of waiting, and then, finally, she is ready.

She loves with her entire being, which can be overwhelming and miraculous and devastating. It might take a while to get her to admit to that, but when she does, the person on the receiving end should consider themselves the luckiest bastard alive.

(This time, that’s him. He’s the lucky bastard. He fucking loves it.)



–



Scott is brushing his teeth when he hears Tessa use her key to unlock his apartment door.

(He didn’t give it to her after they started dating, which was two nights ago. The truth is actually worse. He gave it to her when he first bought the apartment, just a few floors down from hers. He has no defense; he’s been a lost cause for years.)

If he’s being honest, can admit that he has always been in love with her. That fact used to terrify Scott a lot—his unwavering loyalty to her. He may be a self-described serial dater, but he has also been consistently bad at real commitment. He dates girls that are into other guys, that are too long-distance to be anything serious, that are just there to fill the empty hole left in his life after he abstains from skating, and there are no true life partners in the mix. In retrospect, he realizes that might be because he’s only ever had room in his heart to commit to one person, and that space has forever been occupied by Tessa.

He’s tried to love other people, he’s tried to ignore it, he’s tried to move on—but Scott has come to realize that he can’t not be in love with her. He thinks that, at this point, it might actually be physically impossible. For a Scott not in love with Tessa Virtue is not really Scott; it is someone he doesn’t know. Truthfully, he doesn’t know who he is without her there to make him better, and he isn’t particularly inclined to find out.

There is a lot at play here. Unhealthy coping mechanisms. Unhealthy codependent tendencies. Unhealthy communication skills. (They really are working through those things, though. Especially the last one.)

He has been whipped since she agreed to do the comeback with him. Since he saw the look on her face, not acknowledging the words he said that crossed some lines and steered them into non-platonic territory. He has hung onto the words she said for so long, remembering them. Savouring them.

Yes. I agree. She had replied. With all of it.

But there was nothing but static on the radio on the topic for two full years.

He is the one who shares himself. She is the one who protects herself. He has always known this. He accepts this. While he can sometimes be impulsive and reckless, he has developed this little thing called ‘patience’. He didn’t know such a thing a few years ago, but time has matured him.

And so, he waited. Knowing that, deep down, she did love him in some sort of way. Maybe it wasn’t romantic love like it was for him. But it was love. And he would be a fool not to appreciate that, no matter how much it might hurt.

He’s not sure what the tipping point was for her, that night she went out. Maybe there was no big event or major sign that she should give in. That she should share with him that she feels for him. Maybe she was just… ready. He should ask her, actually. One day.

He spits out his toothpaste one last time, washing his mouth with water. When it comes down to it, he doesn’t care, really. All that matters is that she’s here now and that they are blissfully happy.

When he exits the bathroom and faces his bedroom, she’s already sitting at the foot of the bed focused on taking off her black strappy heels. He looks severely underdressed compared to her, simply wearing a worn, white t-shirt and some checkered pajama pants, while she’s in the green dress that she wore for her sponsorship meeting.

There is a quiet stillness to the air. He’s almost afraid to break it, because it feels like a moment for some reason. There isn’t anything particularly special about this, though. They’ve had nights like this so many times.

Being together changes everything, and also nothing. It’s the same. But it’s so much more. More than they both thought they could ever have. He is so thankful.

He moves to stand in front of her and she looks up at him from her place on the bed, saying nothing. And he sits in front of her on the hardwood floor, holding her gaze, and smiling softly as he grabs a foot and begins to help her unravel the straps of her heels.

She doesn’t look tired at all for it being their usual bedtime, but she does look like there’s something weighing on her mind. Scott doesn’t like to push Tessa, ever, and has learned that eventually, always, she does come to him. But he’s also human, and has his own needs. He struggles between the two, even now—the impatient impulsiveness that he grew up with, and the steady calmness that he’s developed as he’s matured. He wants to know what she’s thinking. Always. He hopes that as they sink into this relationship, eventually all her protective layers will dissolve and she’ll find talking to him a bit easier.

For now, though, he just wants to be in the moment and appreciate it for what it is. So he continues to help her with her heels, saying nothing.

Tessa simply holds out her foot for him and whispers in return, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Scott replies simply, trying to untie her heels and look at her face at the same time. Because he doesn’t want to look away now that he’s allowed to. “And hi.”

“Hi,” she says, lips twitching as she holds back a smile. “What did you do while I was gone?”

Thought about you. Missed you. “I cleaned a bit,” he says.

“It does look cleaner than usual,” she compliments, looking around the bedroom. “Not as much dust. And you put all those clothes away.”

“It only gets dusty because I spend days at your apartment and leave mine to rot,” he protests lightly, unhooking the final strap of her second heel.

She makes a sound of acknowledgment. “That’s fair.”

Scott holds her empty left foot in his hand and rubs at her heel where he can see a small blister forming. “Do your feet hurt?”

“They’ll be fine,” she says to him. She has a funny smile on her face, probably from noting how worried he sounds. Which he always is about her.

He scrapes his nails on her ankle in response, then continues the trail slowly up her leg to her knee. He does it firmly along her, not trying to hurt her, but wanting to play with her a bit.

“I like your dress,” he murmurs, changing the topic. He eyes a bruise forming under her kneecap, one that she likely got from practice, and presses his thumb lightly into it. He revels in the sharp inhale he can hear in response. “It makes your eyes look nice.”

“You flatter me,” she says, breathless. She brings her foot to rest on his shoulder, letting go of the weight of her leg since she knows he can support it.

“You deserve all of the flattery,” he returns, kissing her lower calf softly. The closest place of hers that he can reach.

Tessa’s voice is lower than before when she speaks. “Scott,” she says, and nothing else. She does that a lot.

“I missed you,” he whispers honestly, nuzzling her leg with his nose and looking up to meet her eyes. It really does make her eyes look prettier than usual. “I know it was only, like, three hours, but… now that I have you, I hate it when you’re gone.”

Tessa breathes in slowly, looking at him with those sweet eyes, and then reaches forward to cup his jaw in her hand. “Scott,” she repeats. It’s his favourite thing; the way she says his name. Reverently, like it’s something holy and spiritual to her. “Let’s have sex.”

What? “What?” He says, possibly a little too loudly, as he lets her leg fall away from him in surprise. That was a change in topic he did not expect.

“I want to be with you,” she says quietly, and then begins to ramble, because when Tessa finally reveals something that she wants, it’s as if the dam holding all her thoughts collapses within her. “I missed you, too. And I don’t know why we haven’t yet, actually. I thought that maybe we would when I came to see you that night, but we just kissed, which was amazing, but I kept thinking about it. A lot. We’ve waited long enough—like, we’ve both wanted this for a while, right, so what exactly are we doing right now? Neither of us have been with anyone in a while, so we’re both clean, and we obviously care about each other. This is it for us, right? Why wouldn’t we be ready? Why shouldn’t we do it?”

Scott listens, noting the way she rushes the words past her lips, as if saying it quickly would mean that she possibly didn’t admit them at all. But he also knows to appreciate this moment, because this is Tessa at her most honest. He must treat her vulnerability carefully, and he refuses to misstep and mess this up. It isn’t a performance, or a competition. It’s them. He can’t afford any missteps here; he won’t allow himself to.

“Um,” he says, lacking his usual eloquence. He’s usually more mentally prepared for these kinds of conversations. “For some reason I thought we were going to take it… slow.”

“Is that what you want?” She furrows her eyebrows, confused. And then rushes out again, “Because that’s okay! It’s just… unexpected?”

“I’m… I don’t know. I do want to do it,” he admits sheepishly.

“Well, I mean,” Tessa suggests hesitantly. “We can still go slow-ish? I don’t want to like, accidentally go too fast. I want us to tread lightly.”

“Alright, then, what’s slow-ish?” Scott asks, wanting to be as clear on this as possible.

“I mean… we don’t need to have sex yet. But… other stuff, maybe?”

He breathes in deep, taking it in. Other stuff with Tessa, he thinks. That’s not something he ever expected to be doing. Then he admits, “I think I just assumed that you wouldn’t want to do anything right now, for some reason. Sorry.”

The surprise he’s feeling from this conversation likely shows on his face, because Tessa notices and huffs a laugh, equal parts relieved and amused. “I don’t know if you’ve realized yet, but you aren’t the only one who’s been waiting a long time for this, Scott.”

He swallows hard. He didn’t think of it like that.

He’d thought that because Tessa had taken so long to give into this, that she might require some more time to get used to them being together romantically, and therefore prefer to take things slow. He was prepared for that. Not for this.

Here she goes again, surprising him. In the best of ways.

He’s still sat on the floor, so he gets onto his knees to be closer to her. As he stands, his hand touches her leg. Her legs are bare, and smooth, and without stockings. She has amazing legs. He’s not sure he’s ever told her that before.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your legs?” He whispers, dragging his hands up both until they reach her equally bare knees. She’s soft like butter. “They’re like, the best legs. Ever. And I’m a figure skater so I’ve seen a lot.”

(Her legs represent so many things in their relationship. The struggles they’ve overcome apart. The struggles they’ve overcome together. The strength they’ve built between them throughout the years. He loves these legs with everything in him, more than because they’re beautiful. He loves them because they’re symbolic.)

Tessa giggles at his compliment, seeming infinitely less stressed now that the talk is behind them. “I don’t think you’ve told me that you liked my legs before, but I do have eyes. I’ve seen you checking me out during practice,” she remarks, smirking.

“Oh, ha!” He laughs, delighted at her snark. “Think you’re funny, don’t you?”

He proceeds to tickle her at the soles of her foot, taking in the sound of her. Tessa laughs loudly above him, pleading for mercy as her back hits the bed. “Enough, enough! Can you please come up here so I can kiss you already?”

Scott grins. That, he can do.

She squirms higher up on the bed as he moves to lie next to her, body parallel to hers. He keeps his head propped on his hand, elbow keeping his face above hers which is lying on the bed.

“Hello,” she greets, looking up at him. She looks so happy. Scott doesn’t know how it became his right to put that look on her face, but he’s going to spend the rest of his life fighting to keep it there.

“Hello, again,” he replies, fond. Then leans down to kiss her on the lips—once, twice, thrice. Each time longer than the last. She kisses back with equal eagerness.

“Guess what?” He asks, when he finally pulls away. His hand comes up to trace at her collarbone absentmindedly.

She shivers and questions, “What?”

“You are—” he kisses the middle of her collarbone. “My favourite person.”

She brings a hand up to his hair, holding his head at the base of his neck. “Scott,” she breathes out. His favourite, he repeats in his mind. “Take off your shirt.”

“Take off your dress,” he returns teasingly.

“But then I’ll be more naked than you!”

“Okay, let’s both just… shed down to our underwear. Okay?” He suggests. He’s nervous, honestly, and it feels like it does before he has to put on a performance. This is kind of like that, but worse. This is real life. This is them.

Luckily, Tessa also seems a bit anxious, so it’s not just him. “Okay,” she agrees. “Um, turn around?”

He does, and sits up on the bed. As he hears the zipper of her dress slide down, he sheds his shirt and his pajama pants, down to his boxer briefs.

He has never felt this exposed in his entire life, and he’s been in this exact state of undress around Tessa before. But not like this. This is completely different. The stakes are higher, the context is dirtier, and what they’re about to do is much more complex.

He hears Tessa take a deep breath, and then the bed dips closer to him. He tenses, anticipating her before she comes, but instantly relaxes when she touches his back. She smoothes a palm over the muscles of his back, kissing his shoulder.

Then, in his ear, which is his biggest fucking weakness, she rasps: “God, Scott, you…”

She trails off, and kisses his shoulder again wetly, wrapping her arm around his midsection, and he can’t handle it.

He turns as quickly as he can without getting dizzy, and kisses her. Hard and soft and everything in between. He drinks her in, like she’s the fountain of life. His eyes are shut, but he wants to lay her on his bed and map out her entire body with his eyes and his tongue like it is his goddamn birthright.

He pushes her gently, flat on her back so that she’s lying on the bed, and settles above her.

When he opens his eyes, she’s already looking at him. “You’re beautiful,” she says quietly, a crinkle at the corner of her eyes. He can’t believe she of all people is telling him that, looking like that.

He kisses her cheek in response, and backs away a bit to take her in. She’s lying on his bed in an electric blue bra and underwear set which is detailed in lace. He wonders if she planned this, because they’re matching, and she looks really fucking good. Knowing Tessa, she probably did.

As he takes her in, he licks his lips. He is going to devour her—eat her alive until all that’s left of her is orgasms. He slowly traces her chest with his index finger, over the tops of her breasts, and then down to her stomach.

“My pretty girl,” he whispers to himself, as he traces the edge of her underwear. She hears him, and he can see her abdomen clench at his words. It attracts his attention to her stomach, which he has always secretly been fond of but has never had the chance to really tell her exactly how much.

“I love this,” he says quietly, pulling at the pierced navel. Tessa trembles beneath him, and then laughs at his compliment.

“My belly ring?” She asks, amused.

“Yeah,” he admits, sheepishly. Honestly, it’s not a very him-thing to want in a partner, but it’s haunted him a bit. “I’ve always thought that it was kind of… sexy,” Scott says, voice going low at the last word. He can still remember the dreams he used to have when she first got it done, of pulling on it with his teeth and kissing her there until she was gasping for more.

There’s a look of surprise that appears on Tessa’s face, which is quickly accompanied by a slight flush in her cheeks. “Really?”

He nods. “Really,” confirming it, even though it’s unnecessary, and swallowing hard.

“Hmm,” Tessa says, thinking on this revelation. Then she gains a pleased expression on her face, and smirks. Then flips them over. Scott surprised, but he’s more than fine with this position too.

“So,” she says slyly, as she settles her weight over his torso. “You think I’m sexy.”

Wow. That was a twist. He rests his hands on her waist, gripping her hips because he can, and his eyes immediately drop to her belly again, eyeing the piece of jewelry. Fuck, he wants her so badly. He wants to lick her everywhere, bite down on her until she’s mewling.

“Yeah?” Tessa breathes out, rocking into him a bit, even though he’s said nothing. Or maybe his face has said everything. Scott could never hide an emotion on his face in public, let alone around Tessa who can read him like a book.

She tilts her face to the side and leans down, lips centimetres away from Scott’s. Her breathing has suddenly turned shallow, and Scott can feel her exhaling on his lips. She is so, so close, but is clearly purposely avoiding their lips touching. He wants her to kiss him.

“Do I get you hot?” She asks him, pressing down against him again, slight smirk in her voice. She really, really does.

God, Scott thinks, who is she? Is this what Tessa is like during… this?

Scott looks directly into her eyes, and thrives off the wicked glint in them. Tessa can be so reserved sometimes—shy, even… but this side of her is quickly becoming one of Scott’s favourites. Another side of hers that only he is allowed to witness and love.

His eyes immediately drop back to her pierced navel. He bites his bottom lip. God, she really has no idea what she does to him. When his gaze returns to Tessa’s face, it’s clearly been far too long to look at a piece of jewelry, and she’s biting back a smile, and stops playing around. “It’s just a belly button ring, Scott.”

He shakes his head. “There isn’t anything about you that is ‘just’, Tessa.”

That statements seems to stun her. “It’s jewelry,” she says slowly, as if awed by his devotion to her. As if surprised that he is really this gone for her. She has some things to learn.

“It’s your jewelry,” he says, a little embarrassed by how ridiculous he is, but also not. She should know that he’s this in love with her. He’s done hiding.

She smiles a funny little smile, fond and sweet, and relents. “Alright.”

“Can I…” he starts, and then swallows. “T, can you kiss me already?”

She looks at him, want in her eyes, and simply leans down to kiss him again.

Tessa’s lips find his, and they slot together easily. It’s gentle at first, lips sliding together as they explore each other, licking and nipping until Tessa opens her mouth and welcomes Scott’s tongue, and then it’s hot, burning hot from the chemistry sizzling between them. Tessa leans closer to him, kissing him until he’s breathless and all he can feel is her body pressing him down into the bed, grinding a bit against him, and he shudders through it.

“You’re amazing,” Scott breathes out, when he pulls away.

Tessa grins at him and moves her lips to his cheekbone, then to his earlobe, then to his neckbone. She bites down teasingly on the flesh there, and Scott feels his breath catch involuntarily.

He fists a hand in her hair and pulls her mouth back to his, and then they’re licking into each others mouths languidly. It’s everything he has ever wanted.

He flips them over, needing more control in his movements to explore her. Tessa goes easily and does not move her lips from his until he pulls away to kiss down her neck with an open, wet mouth.

He pulls away briefly to admire her, and allows his hands to roam her bare skin as he does.

God, what a pretty neck. Scott wanted to suck on it, bruise it under his lips until Tessa is desperate. So he does. He sucks on her collarbone and sucks the skin into his mouth. She’s his, finally, to mark whenever he pleases.

Tessa lets out a high moan at the feel of his teeth on her neck, and takes her hand to guide his, moving his hands at her hips up to rest against her chest.

He pulls away from her neck to look at her, knowing what she’d like, and murmurs, “Yeah? You want it?”

She nods, panting, like it’s the only thing she could ever need, and he takes that as his cue to press his thumb against her breasts, rubbing where he knows her nipples are pebbled under the lace.

Tessa reaches behind her, unhooks her bra, and throws it over Scott’s shoulder. And then he’s greeted with the sight of her pink nipples, which he decides are his new favourite things.

“T…” Scott whispers, in awe of her beauty. He knows he stares a bit at her, and maybe he shouldn’t and should return his gaze to her face, but all he wants right now is to tell her how fucking gorgeous and perfect her tits are.

“Don’t say a word,” Tessa whispers, and then fists a hand in his hair to guide his mouth to her chest. He likes that a lot, the feeling of a hand in his hair and the idea that she’s forcing him to her chest, so he moans as he goes easily. He can hear her begin to lose it above him as he wraps his lips around the left nipple, and her legs wrap around him as close as she can get, and he can feel her rut against him hard in need of friction.

He kisses her nipple wetly in response, the nub between his lips. He sucks it sweetly into his mouth, teeth catching it when he let go. Tessa groans, and Scott immediately goes to repeat the action, wanting to draw the same sound out of her again. His other hand catches the other nipple between his thumb and index finger, alternating between pulling on it gently and roughly and all the other kinds of ways.

He wants to discover the secrets of her body, one by one, and make them his mantra.

She continues to grind against his torso, and Scott is so hard, too, but he doesn’t care that he’s getting no relief. He just wants to tell her don’t stop, never stop, use me as much as you want, keep rubbing against me until you come, but Scott is pretty sure that Tessa is wet because he can feel it as she slides against him, and he, selfishly, wants to help her.

He pulls away from her tits, leaving open-mouthed kisses wherever he can reach on her body, and clears his throat. “I want to… can I...”

Tessa shivers, like she knows exactly what he’s about to ask for, and bucks her hip against him again, hard. “Yes,” she pleads. “Anything.”

She looks incredibly nervous, but her face flushes. He can tell, just from her shallow breathing, just how badly she wants it. He sits up a bit, letting his thumb move against her nipples as he watches her face.

“Has you been with anyone, you know, since—?” Since.

Scott’s other hand moves down, and his fingers ghost over Tessa’s underwear, right between her legs. He doesn’t touch her hard, just allows the whispers of a touch to wash over her, but it makes her whimper. He can feel how hot she is just from keeping his hands in that area.

Tessa swallows hard, and Scott’s eyes go to her throat, tracking the movement.

“No,” she admits quietly, “But I’ve… I…”

“Hm?” He wonders, lowering his hand to soothe a thumb on the insides of Tessa’s thighs. So close but so far. “You can tell me anything.”

The touch seems to both calm her, and make her yearn for more. Her hips jerk a bit involuntarily, trying to move his hand back to her centre, and she trembles.

“Just me,” she says in a small voice.

Fuck.

Scott licks his lips as the image of Tessa touching herself comes to mind. “Yeah?” He asks. Then, without a filter, because he really wants to know: “How?”

Tessa hesitates, embarrassed to admit something so personal. They’re usually so open with each other, but not about this. This is entirely new territory. Eventually, maybe this could become something normal, but right now it’s so novel and he’s not sure if he’s pushed her.

“Um,” she tries. “Sometimes I’ll work myself up to it. Like, fingers. And, uh, I have—a—you know. To—fuck, you know.”

Scott’s mouth goes dry at the stumbling explanation. Tessa isn’t being very articulate right now, but he’s pretty sure he gets what she means. “You… with a….” A sex toy, his mind supplies unhelpfully, but he can’t bring himself to say it quite yet. He can feels himself harden inside his boxer briefs, and he didn’t think he could get harder than he was before—and yet.

She takes a deep breath, steadies herself, and then destroys him. “When I want to get fucked, and I don’t have someone to do it for me, I fuck myself. With a dildo.”

Scott whimpers at that image. The idea that Tessa needs that kind of gratification from someone, because she just wants to be—she just—God, it does something to him. He wants to use it on her, too. He wants to watch her use it on herself as he tells her how to do it. The possibilities cloud his mind.

She’s been brave enough to speak candidly, so he figures he should let go of any qualms he has of being explicit with her. “Do you enjoy that?” He asks her, quietly, bringing a hand up to pinch at her nipple, and another down to rest lightly over her cunt. He can feel her throbbing against him, and he loves how hot she gets for him.

“Yeah,” she whines, bucking her hips to press harder against his fingers. “I like feeling… full.”

Motherfucker, Scott thinks, brain short-circuiting. “Okay,” he rushes out, because he can’t take this weird pseudo dirty talk foreplay anymore. “Okay, I’m gonna take care of you, T,” he soothes, and then slips his fingers into her underwear.

He doesn’t bother taking them off yet. It’s too much work and he just wants to get his fingers on her, feel her, and he sucks in a breath when he feels how wet she is. He bites his lip and pushes one finger into her, gently, watching her face closely as he sinks it into her.

She’s just as wet and tight as he dreamed about. It already feels so good, pressing his fingers inside of her, in and out like he wants to take her apart and unravel her. He can’t imagine what it’ll be like when it’s him in there.

Her mouth drops open and she grinds down against his hand and she yearns, fast, “More, more, give me more,” and normally it would be too soon but she’s so soaked that he knows she can take it. He moves her body back over him so that she’s stranding his hips, high enough off of him that he has enough room to sink his fingers inside her.

Then, he thinks he’s dying, because she’s above him, legs spread apart on either side of him, riding his fingers so fucking hard and fast and making these breathy little moans. He wants to die like this—any part of him inside of her body, the clench of her surrounding him.

“Again,” she demands, and he presses a third finger into her cunt. She feels impossibly tight now, and she’s so wet that he wonders if she’s ever been this slick before, and he can’t help but think about replacing his fingers with his cock, and that thought makes him harder than he can believe.

His thumb moves up to rub at her clit persistently, and she moans, long and deep into the air. She doesn’t even seem to be aware of anything right now other than her body, she probably isn’t even aware that she’s making these sinful noises. All she seems to care about is the pleasure she’s feeling, and he’s so fucking happy he’s the one that gets to give it to her.

“Tess,” he groans, watching her fuck down on his fingers again, faster than she was before. He presses them up against her, wanting to make it better for her every time. “God, T, I used to think about this all the time.”

She whimpers at that, and then pants, “Yeah? What did you think about?”

“I wanted to lick you out so bad,” he says lowly, “Just… press my fingers and my tongue inside of you, as deep as I could get, and taste you—” He cuts himself off as she sobs at that, clenching down on his fingers hard, and he can feel her body shaking, and then she’s letting out this quiet, high-pitched noise that he wants to hear for the rest of his life.

“Did you…”

She collapses on him, and cuts him off with a kiss. “Yes. You can go down on me another time,” she says breathlessly, body satisfied and relaxed in a way he’s never seen her before. “Right now, I want to suck you off.”

He gulps. “Um, you don’t have to.”

She stares at him. “Trust me, I want to. I’ve had dreams about this.”

Fuck. The idea that Tessa wants to do that to him that badly really makes him glow.

And then, suddenly, he gets a bit nervous, because Tessa’s about to look at his dick, and sure she’s felt it when she was on top of him, but she hasn’t ever seen it. What if she hates it?

He says, “Okay,” and watches as she slinks down his body like a cat. A really sexy cat. She hooks her fingers into the edges of his underwear, and he can see her hands shaking as she pulls them down.

He looks away from her face, half out of self-preservation in case she might be disappointed in what she sees and he can read it on her face, because he can read almost anything on her face. But then she says, “Oh,” in this weird voice, and she doesn’t sound disappointed. Not at all.

He turns his eyes back to her face, and she’s just… sitting there. On his legs. Staring at his dick, biting her lips, want in her eyes.

After a few moments of silence, he says: “I’m feeling kind of weird with you just down there looking at it.”

She ignores him, and brings her hand up to lightly trace her fingers along him, and her hand feels so fucking good. He feels himself jump against her, aching so badly. “Tessa,” he warns, “No teasing, please.”

She sucks in a breath at that, and then wraps her hand around him properly. “I won’t tease you tonight,” she says, like a promise, as if there’s much more to come for him in the future. She’ll probably kill me one day, he thinks, watching as she licks her lips.

“Tonight,” she says, moving her head closer. “I get this all to myself.” And then she sinks her mouth onto him, and he’s engulfed in a wet heat that is so blissfully amazing that he thinks to himself that he’s finally experienced perfection once in this lifetime.

He can’t look at her. He really can’t. If he does, he might lose it. So he closes his eyes.

He’s had blowjobs before, obviously, but he doesn’t think anyone has ever come close to how good it is with Tessa. He’s pretty sure it’s this good solely because it is Tessa, and she’s the one who wants his dick in her mouth. It’s more than anything he could have ever asked of her.

She’s bobbing her head, moving deeper and deeper until she allows his cock to settle so close to her throat, and she swallows around him, squeezing the head of him, and he moans loudly because God, how does Tessa know exactly what he likes but they’ve never done this before? How does she know his body this well?

She pulls off a bit to tongue at his slit and her hands move to squeeze around him, play with his balls, and when she sinks back down on him he can’t help but want to watch. He needs to see her do this, because it’s so good, and it’ll probably be even better watching.

He opens his eyes, and takes in the sight of her. She has her cheeks hollowed around him, sinking him in further every time, and then she moans around him and the vibrations are too much for him. Her eyes are wet as she takes him in, and God, the sight of her beautiful green eyes tearing as she takes his dick down her throat is going to make him lose it.

“Tess, baby, I’m going to—” He cuts off as she moans around him again, as if encouraging him, and he’s done. His orgasm is ripped from his body, just for her, and he finishes inside her mouth, groaning as she swallows around him. It’s over.

He’s still attempting to catch his breath when she crawls back up to meet him, and he can’t help but let his lips meet hers when she’s close enough.

This kiss is different than the others. It’s quiet. It reminds him of the first kiss they shared—like this moment is precious, and everything is about to change all over again. He loves it.

When she pulls away, he husks at her, “You’re so incredible,” and she smiles brightly like he’s made all her dreams come true.

“I love when you call me that,” she whispers quietly.

“What?” He asks, confused. And then he remembers the term of endearment he used when he was losing his mind, and can’t help but feel a bit bashful. “Oh.”

“It’s nice,” she says, shy smile on her face, and he loves every side to her. This side, the wild side—everything.

“Um. I’m glad. I’ve kind of been holding myself back from calling you that for years,” he admits, a little embarrassed and a little ecstatic that she loves it.

She nuzzles her nose against his jaw, and brings a hand up to cup the side of his face. And he can’t help but feel like this is the rawest he’s ever felt with another human being in his life, and he’s so, so fucking glad that it gets to be Tessa.



–



There are some things that Scott does not expect from dating Tessa.

She is innocent. She is obscene. She is the best paradox he has encountered in his life.

She is not a pressure cooker. She is, actually, a slow cooker. An appliance that should be regarded with patience and kindness and time. She rarely snaps, nor does a rage build inside of her. She can be a bit slow, but everything inside of her builds steady and sure, until she decides that it is time and she is one hundred percent ready. And when it is time, God, it is time. And it is always, always worth it.

Being on the receiving end of Tessa sharing her heart is so touching and overwhelming that sometimes he gets emotional over it. It’s so rare to see her open her heart to someone, anyone, and for it to be him… he is so fucking lucky, and he thanks the universe for his fortune every single day.

She is so far above and beyond his wildest expectations that he couldn’t have prepared for it even if he had tried.

(And he can’t help but know that he will never, ever be disappointed.)