Notes

Hi,

Today the day is going well, but as soon as I reached here Mohali then all the things gone wrong and I am very angry at this time and I don't know the reason of my anger. But this is the only truth I can't explain what I am feeling now. If there is anybody who is my enemy then I must have killed him/her. I am very much frustrated at this time, but as I can't tell anyone about my feelings that is why I am splitting my anger by writing these words. Now, I have to act like normal in front of everyone and I don't know how to act normal. Main thing is that I don't want to make anyone feel bad because of me. That is why I am not talking to anyone at this time because if I started talking to anyone then I am damn sure that I will definitely abuse him/her and he/she will definitely feel very very very bad after hearing and seeing my bad side because no one knows about it, as I have never shown it to anybody except my mom. She understands me very well and thankgod I have talked to her before this frustrated mood. If I talk to her now then she will definitely understands and came to know about me. My mom understands my feelings and she has the ability to read my eyes and I too has that inborn quality. Nobody will understand me and will never get to know about me because I am like that. I am the bad boy and at the moment I am missing my punching bag which is hanging at my home. I am really missing it because it is the thing who helps me in controlling my anger. My anger is very bad and whenever I felt bad and I am angry at that time it helped me a lot. Because my anger is very bad even someone can't imagine. I want to kill someone or I want a punching bag. Otherwise, I don't know how much time will it take to overcome my anger. Because it keeps on increasing if the things will go wrong. I have already punched the wall and my hands are gone blue because of that punch. I am writing all this crab because I want to loose some anger. But it is increasing my temper and as far as I am writing thia note my feelings and my anger is becoming more and more powerful and it is talking the control over me. I don't know how ridely I am behaving to everyone. I have recently talked to Aman and only I know how rudely I talked to him and even with robert. I don't know hpw to stop this anger. I want to write this in hindi but if I wrote this letter in hindi then this will become more and more vulgure and abusive letter. I am saying a abusive word at every sentence but just not writing. I wish someone will stole my mobile again from my hands and this time I will definitely kill both of them and go to police station and surrender myself. Please someone complete my this wish because I want to leave this anger which I am feeling now. This will only make myself very weak and this will hurt many persons. I don't want to hurt anyone of them who are my good friends. I will not write further, as it is making my anger more and more powerful............