Notes

Today, my day was started as usual like a boring day. but in the evening the time spend with Shilpa is very good. i want to spend more and more time with Shilpa. But as we were spending the time with each other then the Phone started ringing and its Aman.. Then He came and my mood spoiled, its not that I don't want Aman to came there, its just about the timing. Shilpa knows me very well. Yesterday, I had written a note for myself in the Simplenote and I had coded it in the Notes.io. But Shilpa found this note and read this. I already got some signs from Shilpa that she has already read the my note but I am not confirmed. After logging in to my PC in the office, when I opened Simplenote, I am totally shocked after seeing that Shilpa has read all my feelings which I have shared to myself and she has also saved a reply for me in which she has answered to all my questions. i got my answers that Shilpa is not in love with me and She has rejected me, but in a very polite way. But I am not concerned with the rejection but the main thing is that it not the right way. She has not received my original proposal till now and I am sure that she cares about me she will understand me. After that she came online on the Simplenote. Then we started a chat and in that chat I told Shilpa that this is not a Proposal and I don't want to share this with you. Thee were my feelings about you. You are very sweet girl. I want to spend my whole time with you but I can't do that now because I will feel embarrassed now, as you know me very well. What I have kept in my heart is all shown to Shilpa now. I am a timid person and if any girl will propose me then I can't handle that emotion and I will ran away from there. I am in a most critical situation now. I will not be able to talk to Shilpa now because of my shyness. Shilpa is an open minded girl but I am not that kind of boy. I never express my feelings to anyone. If somehow I met Shilpa and she has started a conversation on that topic then I will become speechless and my mind will be totally blank. I just want Shilpa in my Life. I am Damn Sure about the thing that its not lust. But I am surely talk about myself. I am a boy with a kind heart but the main thing is that I can't handle girls in the right way. Most of the boys are very open minded, but I am not from all of them. I am always keep surrounded with my friends. This is the reason why my behavior is same with both the boys and girls. I always love to share my emotions, but only with myself. I like Shilpa but I don't know that its love or not. I remember one line from the movie 'ADHM' which is that ''we can stop ourselves from falling in love, but we can run away from love''. Now, I don't know I want to be in relationship or not. Today is Shilpa and mine week off and tomorrow is Shilpa's Exam. I know her situation, that she has to study but I don't know how she handle this situation. I know the burden of a back. She was going through a lot a of pressure. I wish I can help her. Because I can't see her sad, I wish that she will always keep smiling. This all about today. I am feeling better now. Now I am feeling bored because I don't have any kind of important work to do. I am now scaring of my result. Which will be announced on the coming saturday. If I got a low score then I don't have any option of reappear. I am not scared of the Ielts band score. I am just scared of IELTS EXAM FEES. It is very costly. I know how to earn money and I also know about how my father earn money. My father is a very hardworking man. He is my hero. I got an good thing from him which is hardworking spirit. There is always very less conversation between me and my father. We both talk very less to each other. But I care very much about my father. I also love my mother and I think she is the best Mother in the world and I got my kind heart from my Mother. I want to give a gift to my mother on her upcoming birthday. But I don' know what to give. I have not any suggestion about the gift as I never purchased any gift for my Mother. She always cares about me. My parents don't know about my mobile snatching. If they came to know about that then they must have called me there till now. I had a very bad experience on that day. Worst day ever. On that day, I am feeling very sad and no one was there to talk to me. I have never shared my emotions to anyone till now and that is my biggest problem. I never shown my emotions about that day. Whenever I think about that incident my eyes filled with tears and my heart become emotional. I always hide my feelings and show a happy face to everyone. Only one person understands me and I can't hide my emotions in front of that person. She is my Mother. She stands with me even in my difficult situations. She has completed all my wishes till now and My Dad also fulfilled all my needs. But I also know that how money is earned. This is not an easy task. I never cared about money. Now, there is a very critical situation in my family. Because my father is jobless now. He need a job and It is a very difficult task to find a job in INDIA. I want to do something for my father. That is why I have chosen this difficult way. One day, I will be a successful man and my mother and my father will be proud of me. That day will be the best day of my life. I have many dreams and I want to fulfill all those.