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I feel like i'm slowly losing my self . I just don't know where i went wrong but everything is starting to fall in place . I feel like it could be my relationship but then again i feel like if i give up on this one i'm really going to be heart broken even if i end it . My mothers passing have a lot to do with pain and it does not help that my father makes me feel like i'm unwanted . Like he don't need me . I just have a lot going on and i just wish it would all stop i been up all night thinking about all this . I have a lot going through my mind . The other day My dad told me my mom want not happy with me . That hurt a lot because my mom can't look at me and tell me how she feel but deep down i know i'm letting her down . I know my mom just wants me to be happy and strong but it really hard because the person that was always there can't be here for me and it really sucks . I hate that i can't have those long talks with my mother

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