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Maddy and I broke up and it hurts because I'm not with someone that makes me happy all the time. And I am not bisexual and that's why we broke up and I don't want to continue with out her but I cant be with her because that's not who I am. I just can't get over her. I love her I never stopped loving her. I hid being straight from myself for a long time and in that time period I fell in love with Maddy and I realized I am not bisexual and not only did I hurt Maddy but I hurt myself because I can't love Maddy like that anymore. It hurts how I can't be with her. I guess just the fact that I can't get over her. I am stuck in that moment and I can't ignore her and I still have deep feelings for her. If I could take back everything I did in the past four/five days I definitely would. No amount of words can explain how... hurt? I am. Because I can't get over this. It is really hard. Even though I knew I wasn't bisexual, I didn't want to break up with Maddy. I really didn't. I thought I wouldn't have the courage to but it turns out I did. And it sucks how, the only thing I have the courage to do is breaking up with the one person that actually made me feel like me. Maddy made me feel like I was right. Like I wasn't a mistake and that I....I don't know. She made me happy, she made me smile all the time. She was my everything, and I am so confused right now. Like super duper confused. And I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. It's to painful.

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