Notes

I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I think socialism is a pretty good idea. The elimination of social classes sounds like an amazing concept. Why is it so wrong to think like this?
If a tree falls in an empty forest, devoid of people. Does it make a sound? Be normal. GO to school. GO to college. Get a job. Get married. Retire. Die... Repeat. While everyone else runs from the rain. I take joy when heavenly waater touches my body and cleanses my soul. I feel connected .. Weird right?

Alternate universe. If people pooped cupcakes or Da Vinci paintings, would it still be considered disgusting? Weird reasoning right? It is hard to break the shackles of societal expectation. But once you do greatness awaits you. If God made the universe. WHo made GOd? Sapiosexual. I have a Mona Lisa stuck there somewhere.

Well tomorrow starts the new trip. I am not excited. But then when the day arrives I get very excited. I feel like I am returning to my formal self slowly. By changing bad habits and turning them into positive ones I am able to change the way I think. My only worry is if in the future I will be able to do what I was born to do... Change the world. Change the world. Change the world. Change the world. Change the world. I am supposed to go to sleep. But I never really go to bed early. This online journal thing has helped me avoid negative habits. Although I am far from finished. I must investigate and get to the end of things. I must conquer and completely understand what makes me tick. Only this way can I change the world. However if I can achieve the very hard task at hand I will be rejoiced with utter and complete hapiness. I noticed today that I had a very strong Deja Vu. The problem with this times sensation was that it was very powerful. As though I had dreamed it or lived it. I am having a tad bit of difficulty sometimes I think things that perhaps never happened. Is my mind deceiving me. I am just repeating situations or dialogue that remind me of a similar circumstace? Is this really Deja Vu? The last sentence I know to be fallacious as I do not relish any supernatural beliefs. Instead I opt for rationalism and base myself on evidence. An important clue was presented by my mother. It stated that " we are all predictable" It is very curious to hear this from an external source. Mainly because I see other people as repeating and reacting thought patterns to certain situations. I see people as very predictable. To the point of shortening conversations sometimes. Many times I cannot wait for a person to finish what they are saying because it's so obvious what they are going to say. I feel a need to jump and go directly to the matter at hand. Many times because the people around me are so predictable. I just had a blink of an idea.


What if when a person repeats this action. She is absent of thought. That would mean the meme or meaning structure that is being recited by the subject has a life of it's own. Because the vector, I have observed, when put in a specific situation, which works as a trigger, responds in an almost auto-pilot way. Is this person absent while performing the specific conduct and thought pattern? Could responses like this supress conscious thought? That would mean that when a meme is spoken, sometimes it takes a life of it's own and reacts without the body explicit consent. Like a virus using the physical parts of the body to express itself and make itself material for the process of propagation. Besides propagation the meme could lie dormant inside the hippo campus or frontal lobes. In a way dormant. Until a specific trigger makes it snap and be completely blurted out. This scares me a bit. Because it would mean that any time a person does this... She or he is not alive. Like turning off the switch during that brief period. I have observed that the protagonist has also suffered from similar events. It is important to understand each detail of human experience and emotion in order for me to take control of my own fate.

Another blurting thought. Write an essay about how people are the worlds own nervous system.

Perhaps free will is a very small factor in life. Determinism holds the biggest force. I would speculate at least 95% or more. Leaving very little wiggle room for voluntary choice. Is choice an illusion. Furthermore I believe that in order to lessen the percent of determinism on daily life, scientific knowledge is key. By understanding science we can predict and better understand our world. Which hopefully leads to better decisions. So if you want to take more control of your life, science is vital and key. This message is very powerful because in this age of information anyone can be empowered by knowledge. No more is knowledge confined to the prestigious ivory towers of college or universities. Rambunctious. This word just popped out of my mind. Very interesting. I leave with a side note. Whoever reads this from any time. I am sorry if my thoughts are jumbled and unreadable. I want to try and illustrate my thinking process as transparent as a Jellyfishes body.

A new goal I want to achieve is to write a short review or essay on each book I read or each anime I watch. The latest anime was Steins; Gate. It's plot and character development has captivated me to such deep extent. My mind swirls at the concepts presented in this incredible anime. It has a lot of scientific ideas in the mix. To add to this, the main character resembles me in so many ways. Just like welcome to the NHK. They totally describe parts of me. Chaos theory and the science behind this anime will be explored by Me.
This was supposed to be a rather short entry. But my rambunctious mind stepped in and voila, it splurged from it's intellectual depths the flame of thinking residing in a fleshy body, hidden somewhere or everywhere inside the brain. Where exactly is the mind located... We still do not know. But I am sure my next entry will be related to my anime review. Also by engaging in creative writing I can store in much better quality details of the anime I have watched. Thank H for writing this detailed entry describing thoughts in my head.


I should also mention and important transformation taking place in my head. Lately besides the Deja Vu episodes, in which I cannot distinguish something happening as something I have lived before or if I have dreamed it . It's a very scary thought because schizophrenia comes to mind. Haahahah. Who I am kidding, I wished I had schizophrenia. A mad scientist part of my brain wishes to be afflicted by such mental disorders. Weird right??? I just state things as they happen. Sorry for the tidal change of topic. From biology to cakes... Oh well. The important change I was going to state was that my thinking lately has shifted enormously from mostly Spanish inner banter to English dialogue. I can hear very intensely and very clearly the sound of my mind in my brain. However also perhaps ,(only a speculation), by changing my language I am changing my personality. Interesting thought wouldn't you say. I just remembered that sometimes I also engage that auto-pilot phenomena mentioned earlier. Especially when talking about a topic in which I am more "knowledgeable than the other person". I must correct this error in my behavior at once. Also depending of the language of my internal dialogue is the type of person I am??? Next are thoughts as units of languages limiting my potential for creativity and ideas.

Another idea I had conceived a while ago needs to be written. The fact that language is a tool or a measure of a thought. However to reduce something as complex as a human thought to a word or a sentence is to greatly diminish it's true potential. Because you have to reduce something so complex to something so simple. Reminds me of digital compression and Plato's allegory of the cave. Medical disorders and categories are tools of order and cognition. However these same tools limit our understanding of the world and it's existence. Thereby I postulate that by constructing information in different way you can enhance the meaning and understanding of reality. Being limited by only one language is a very sad phenomena. However common it may be. I am thankful this brain learned English. However it must not stop here. Other languages must be and will be learned. It is imperative that I understand and realize that I know nothing. The more we discover the more questions are unleashed, consequently the more we acknowledge how clueless we were to begin with.

Another blurting thought. To give things the appearance of simplicity and enormous amount of effort must be exacted.

If we want to understand reality we must go deeper into understanding. The deeper we go into understanding the more complex it gets. Our ideas of the world are merely oversimplifications of the actual world outside us. The universe is infinitely complex. If we want to understand even a speck of speck of a speck of this universe, it is necessary and a requisite to delve into the great complexities the compose such entity.

Language as the bridge between two worlds, or even two universes.

I feel the universe writing through me. It is writing by itself. something has possesed me to such an extent that I am surprised. Wow this moment feels so strange. My thoughts are much faster than my appendages typing speed. I must ask... Is this the moment I have been waiting for??? Is this my awakening???



YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Is it really?
Absolutely
Who are you?
I am youuu
But really what part
Part you say... No part hehe. Just me. Just you. It is time that you wake uup. Wake up the slumbering mind which before was so active in thought. Keep harnessing it.. and I promise your "lost" ideas will pop up into your head. No fear, just follow. DOn't read just do. You are here... In this universe , in this existance. You are in a pale blue dot called Earth. In a galaxy called the Milky Way. You are inhabiting a vessel made of matter. The for awakening is here. Matter controlling matter. You have been awarded this vessel. You can control it to your will, to some extent. To understand it is key. Keep this feeling and this mindset in the future. Remember that this conscious thought was today reinforced and cultivated as seed. It is now hatching to fruition. Let it grown to biggest of extents. Let it consume you. After all this is what the protagonists desires are. keep in my the thought of matter controlling other matter. How wondrous that a collection of atoms placed in a particular order can achieve and subdue other atoms to it's bidding. At the cost of billions of species and generations. Of trial and error. Mass extinctions and death... what is death??? Is there really death according to the laws of thermodynamics??? Nope. So in as sense each species can be construed,(although the universe has no inherent purpose), as being just a step in the evolution and optimization of the universe itself. A quest to create mini universes inside an already vast universe. Just the thought of other species sharing these thoughts brings about chills in my spine.

Memories stored in this module contain very deep and meaningful thoughts. Perhaps this exercise was needed to awaken my consciousness from it's deep slumber. When being a kid I always imagined if someone was thinking my same exact thought. Or rather when a day ended I used to cry because I knew that I was getting closer to death each day. A great crisis stirred in me (module) when mortality was recognized. I always tried to replicate another person's thoughts at the moment they left. I wanted to replicate each thought they were having in my mind. Kind of like trying to have telekinesis. Although I knew I could not really delve into another persons brains. I did the same reasoning with dogs. What do dogs think. How do they react to the world. What is their perspective. DO they see in black and white. I used to try and understand what they were trying to tell me. I used to talk to a big tree we had in a rural house I lived for 2 years. I heard once that because we exhaled carbon dioxide and tree liberated oxygen this could be possible. I think a teacher told us something along the lines like talking to plants or trees. Another teacher or perhaps this one also told us that if we breathed full deep breaths. This would expand our lifespans.
I remembered getting lost in a mall with my mother. The module is restoring all the memories stored in the hard drive. I remember letting the vessels brother fall. Also playing with the 8th grade neighbor the Nintendo 64. Telling him I was going to first grade while he was going to 8th grade. I remember using a swinging white baby chair with very light colors. I remember once when I pooped in the hallway when my grandmother was taking care of me. I remember watching cartoons with my uncle. Minotaur and Aladdin. I remember pretending the sofa was an island in an ocean. I remember pretending to be swimming each time got out of the desk to search for my notebooks or books inside my bag. I remember the first day of baby school. I had a red lunchbox. I was dressed in the family while my picture was taken. I remember the first day entering and seeing the whole backyard where they had cool toys. Although it was pretty small space. I felt very nervous with the thought of so many kids around me. I remember the compulsory nap sessions all kindergartens must endure. I had a favorite spot inside a little house that protruded from the wall. It resembled a slide but in the top it was flat. I loved that spot. To be different from the others I slept with my butt towards the ceiling sometimes. I used to have night nightmares. I was afraid of el Cuco and aliens abducting me. I used to take good care of all of my figures and plush characters because I was afraid they would retaliate. I wanted to make them happy. I was scared of Chucky. At some point I had an imaginary friend.
Even if I with someone the fact is that at some point that will end. That sensation will perish forever.
Everything is quantified and limited. The number of kisses or hugs or steps. The number of words. The number of thoughts. There is a specific time when something decreases it's frequency or stops happening.

In another unrelated topic. I once tried and learned how to use echolocation. Each time I tell this to people they look at me very weird.