Notes

I know what it is to waste a day again.
I have realised coffee is a drug
I have realised my parents are people
heidi babe
love you sorry youre feeling shit on your birthday
ps I was thinking earlier when you said I am mean sometimes
I think you are right
but sometimes I am not fully paying attention when I talk
so I can see why you would think that is meanI know, and sometimes that is the mean part, cause it's like you don't care about stuff, like you don't give a shit
But whatever
Doesn't matter
I love you too
I am sorry I know but i do promisebeing alive is sitting for 24hours
like I know it is stupid to say that
I know
but I have realised somethings
okay
so
Heidi I am going to say some really obvious things
and these are things that I knew before
but I didnt KNOW them
Heidi Northfield
13:26
Heidi Northfield
Okay
Alan Hendry
13:26
Alan Hendry
I need to get my life together
why?
because I am 17 I do nothing all day everyday and I have exams soon
why do I need to study?
Heidi Northfield
13:27
Heidi Northfield
Soon? Alan you have exams right now as we speak
Alan Hendry
13:28
Alan Hendry
so I can leave strathaven and get away from the 90% of people who are wasters
yeah I know
exactly
Heidi Northfield
13:28
Heidi Northfield
I'm glad you have come to this realisation
but see without sleep w/e
thats all it is
so there is that and water
like the way I feel I could sit here for days if i had more acid
its scary
need to sort my life out
but I hate that guy
so I am not going to
Alan Hendry
oh okay thats good
wow the acting in mic is bad btw
Heidi Northfield
13:38
Heidi Northfield
I know it's so awful
Alan Hendry
13:38
Alan Hendry
I actually just started paying attention to it
Heidi Northfield
13:39
Heidi Northfield
That's what made me hate it before
But then u watch it anyway and just get hooked
Alan Hendry
13:40
Alan Hendry
that is how it starts yes
but I do have a love of it for some reason
like see on mic their acting is bad because they cant act
but they live off family money and are posh
and the acting is bad because they cant act
I'm sorry that I am talking to you like you are retarded
but this is my realisation that I had and I am walking myself through it.
I find it really weird
that I have just realised these things
like I feel like it is a thing that has happened
because it is a thing that has happened.
maybe because I dont LOVE her
omg lolololololol what is happening to me
Heidi Northfield
14:23
Heidi Northfield
you do so
Alan Hendry
14:23
Alan Hendry
meh yeah kinda
Heidi Northfield
14:23
Heidi Northfield
kinda a little
kinda a lot
Alan Hendry
14:24
Alan Hendry
yeah kinda a bit but it gets better the less I talk to her
Heidi Northfield
14:25
Heidi Northfield
is that a good thing?
Alan Hendry
14:25
Alan Hendry
yes I think so
I'm done with that
like I need to be.
I had been sitting up for a day taking acid and I almost missed an exam because I had been taking drugs, when I got in I stank and looked disgusting THIS
okay so everything makes so much more sense now in a weird way
so I have seen that jack ect they are posers
something equally obvious that I did not know
well did kind of
okay no
they are not posers all the time
but 90% of the time
that is why I really like stu aaron arthur stefan
but I just like jack
the others are real more
if that makes sense
Heidi Northfield
yeah
i've notcied aaron is actually a lot less real than I thought
and i'm convoked it jack's fault
because he never used to be like that
and now it's like, because of jack, he's scared to even tell people what he thinks n feels n stuff and just pretends he doesn't care
to just try to become a poser
like act all the time
acting omg all that was wrong with my life is that I lacked motivation THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS, I cannot stress the importance of this revelation.
but it would if I could have done something to prevent it
and did not for fear of offending
that is what I was saying earlier
I realise now that taking acid the day before an exam is irresponsible
and I knew that before
but you know
Heidi Northfield
16:46
Heidi Northfield
Wow Alan
Alan Hendry
16:46
Alan Hendry
even if I did think that it was 2 days
like I understand why this is bad
omg
wtf
Heidi Northfield
16:42
Heidi Northfield
No, cause it's not like u predicted it, it would be their fault for letting their kids play by the road
Alan Hendry
16:42
Alan Hendry
okay I see your point
I feel so much better
Heidi Northfield
16:42
Heidi Northfield
Good
Alan Hendry
16:43
Alan Hendry
ok but that is irresponsible
Heidi I think I am an adult
I keep saying things like this
and it is goon
good
drugs are irresponsible
like duh
but yeah
has been a duh day
Heidi Northfield
Hmmm
How many times do you reckon we have had sex
Alan Hendry
17:12
Alan Hendry
not enough
Heidi Northfield
17:12
Heidi Northfield
Hahaha
Alan Hendry
17:12
Alan Hendry
once I get a proper job I am going to buy a cock ring
neo has one
and it is cool
no
he was talking about them
i forget
otherwise I will go back to how I was maybe
and that is bad. This is almost equally important because you have to realise that you used to be disgusting.
yeah I feel you
okay ft walking my dogs
I need sleep
but I need to study
I should talk to my brother more
he is a cool guy
but I am going to talk to my brother and sister because they will understand Also, Jonovar, Simmy, Fat Matt, they are good guys be friends with them maybe. MAYBE. But not too freindly... RORY KAYA JP ECT they are cool guys. BE FRIENDS WITH THEM.
Remember you have been apologising for talking about your self the full way through this conversation. But Heidi told you that it was okay and that she didnt mind you talking about this. You literally said "Im sorry for being a douche" and she said, "You're not being a douche I like it when you talk like this.
I COULD HAVE BEEN THAT BANK ROBBER WHO HAS ESCAPED FROM JAIL. DO NOT GO BACK TO HOW YOU WERE OTHER WISE THAT COULD STILL BE YOU. You had too be picked up for your exam that you thought was the next day because you had been sitting up for 12 hours taking acid. Look at how your life WAS