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I'm sorry. I'm sorry I love you so much. I'm sorry I can't stop caring, can't stop thinking about you. People get addicted to drugs, to drinks, to gadgets but my only addiction is you. I'm sorry I fell in love with you, and the idea of you. Fell for all those thoughts of you swirling in my head, tugging at my heart and enhancing my breath. But I know, I know I'll never be enough, be the one...the one your heart beats for. I'm scared to lose you, because you'll never love me as much as I do you. Im scared you'll get bored of me, and lose interest in me, even when you're the only interesting thing in my day. I am scared to love, because I'm afraid of being the only one, I'm afraid of the pain I must bear. I'm afraid to look into your eyes, because I don't want you reading the thoughts behind mine. I'm afraid to upset you, because it upsets me more. When you tell me, you're not okay, why do my eyes fill with tears? Why does my heart ache, and why do I lose myself at every mention of you? And most of all, I'm afraid to let you in, let you close because I know I'll never be able to let go. And I'd never tell you, because you'll never love me, as I do you.

And that is why, even though your arms feel home, and understand me best, and you are the one I'm pining for, I'm pushing you away, because I'll love you the most, always, above everyone else.

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