Notes

Q: So why am I and how am I special? Because as far as I and others can see. I'm a huge ass troll with a potty mouth

A: Why you're special? The answer is simple.
You are you..and no one will ever replace you because you're unique and you're your own person.
Even in a biological sense y'know what i'm sayinnnn' because of genetics and such. (You already know this)
How you're special...What makes you special to me... that's a different story.
Even if you're a huge ass troll with a potty mouth, something(s) stand out when it comes to you and the crowd.
I can't necessarily put my finger on it.. but I'll try my best to describe.
You have a lot of history. And your entire being is intriguing to me.
Though, at first you may not come across as the nicest person (depending on the circumstance that is)
Deep down, I know you're a kind and thoughtful person. Someone who doesn't intentionally mean to harm anyone. Someone who cares. Someone who wants to do right. Someone who is selfless.
Strong yet fragile at the same time.
Somewhat mean yet extremely nice at the same time.
You're like a living paradox.
You keep your friend circle small..and being in that circle means a lot because you don't open up to people easily.
At least from my perspective.
You're very protective. And it's comforting.
You may get jealous. In a sense, it may be a tad bit too much for others but I myself don't see much of a problem with it because well... it's me.
You enjoy being original. You don't necessarily like hoppin' on the bandwagon or participating in anything mainstream.
Your own set of moral beliefs and opinions is alluring.
You can be very strong-willed depending on the situation. Primarily about things you're passionate about.
You're very quick to make decisions and/or act upon certain situations. This may be intimidating to other people. I myself, am already used to it.
You have a lot of talent. And you have some large dreams.
Unsure whether or not you picture certain scenarios that you'd like to occur in the future. But you'd seem like the person to do so. (I do it all the time)
Many times you are left to your thoughts. Sometimes you over-think.
Many times you bottle your feelings in. And you release them in the form of physical strain to drain your body of energy. Maybe sleep off certain things.
You've shed a lot of tears for a variety of reasons. I just wish I could've been there to wipe away those tears and comfort you in your darkest times.
I do know though, that i'll be here whenever you need me from now on. I want to be here for you.
If you come to me, I'll try my best to make you smile and feel better. Because your happiness and contentness is all I really care about.
We have a lot of history together. I've always cherished it. And I will continue to do so. You accept me for the hot mess that I am. I can be a monster. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes.
You make mistakes. You're not perfect. I know i've said this before, but your imperfections make you perfect. To me.
PS: You're a lazy bum. But you're my lazy bum. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

[10:17:05 PM] Senpai ♔:
I really... No. There is no "really" to this. Because I'm not "really" flattered. I'm -absolutely- flattered. I asked you this question because often times, I'm left to my own thoughts. Like you already know. And many times I conjure up the most negative of things about myself. I asked because I wanted to know that I wasn't such a fuck up still. That I'm still capable of being a good person and yet still be myself. I never actually think about myself. I think more so on my decisions. I'm shy and afraid to do certain things for fear of negative outcomes.

You. It's hard to explain just what I love about you. Your generosity outweighs mine, and that makes it a competition for me. Though, I don't intend to spoil others. My attention is centered around you. I've been through many dark times for a supreme short amount of time, and many times you stuck through and held on. Despite all the negativity I gave off, you didn't say a word before. And it bummed me out a whole lot. It's hard for me to convey emotions of sadness, so it changes to anger. Anger that's supposed to be directed towards myself but is sometimes thrown in the face of people I love with all my heart. You. Out of everyone, you're at the top. You know more about my history and who I am than anyone else. You've been there when I've cried. When I've been pissed beyond what words can ever describe. You have such a gentle heart, and I wish I can just bottle it up in a jar of cotton balls so it doesn't get hurt.

You sometimes come off as distant when you become upset or hurt, and I don't ever intend to pry beyond your comfort zone. Everytime you tell me someone said something awful to you, it squeezes my heart. Sorta like an iron fist but with needles puncturing the gaps that the fist failed to grasp and hide. It upsets me.

No. It pisses me off. I'm over-protective of you because I -know- just how sweet you are and how easily someone -can- use you. I don't think anyone's gonna be trying to use you now that you're with me. Especially with the fact that people already know I can be a real bitch.

Your intelligence is sexy, by the way. I mean, no offense to the others but I feel like with you, I can connect more. Like I don't have to chop down words to make a sentence basic for someone to understand. I'm always having to describe things to people because they never understand what I'm saying. And it becomes a pain in the ass. You? Hot damn. You're young. You're adorable. You're intelligent. You're sweet. You're selfless. You're generous. You're compassionate. You're everything packed into that cute body of yours.

I used to worry about what people may think of me. Especially towards people I once had a thing with. I was always afraid I might say something and they'd up and leave me. With you? It's comfortable. Natural. Easy. And I like it. I can be as inappropriate as I want and you'd still love me.

You accept me for who I am. And I accept you for who you are. I will never ask you to change a single thing about yourself, because you're perfect. -heavy breathing-