Notes

(The scene starts in an open park, two sets of footsteps heard, shoes crunching against the fall leaves as they walk. We are introduced to our characters: Willamina Werewolf and Mitch Mummy)


Willamina Werewolf: (Sighs) You know, I just can’t get my damn howl down...

Mitch Mummy: What are you talking about? You’ve been practicing for hours over the last few nights...

Mitch Mummy: (Grumbling tiredly) Trust me, you’ve got a loud enough howl...heck you’ve managed to make the living dead feel like they need sleep...

Willamina Werewolf: Heh, sorry about that...and it’s not about the volume! I know I’ve got my mothers lungs when it comes to the volume...it’s more the...the feeling of the howl...

Mitch Mummy: (Snickering) The feeling of the howl? What are you? A primadona looking for her first big hit at the box office?

Mitch Mummy: Isn’t a howl just a deep breath in and a yell out?

Willamina Werewolf : No, no, no, it’s not that simple at all.

Willamina Werewolf: When you howl, it... it has gotta mean something, like, you have to put your whole personality into one sound, so other know who you are, and that you’re taking your stand.

Mitch Mummy: Huh? Sounds super complicated for just a sound...

Willamina Werewolf: (Huffing) I wouldn’t expect you to understand, cotton for brains...

Mitch Mummy: (Gasping) You take that back right now! I’ll have you know my brain is safe in my jars with my other organs!

Mitch Mummy: Anyway, who needs howls or organs when you’ve got looks like this? Hmmmm?

Willamina Werewolf: You are utterly hopeless, you know that?

Mitch Mummy: Are not.

Willamina Werewolf: Are too.

Mitch Mummy: Are not!

Willamina Werewolf:Are to-woah!

(A thud is heard as Willamina bumps into someone, causing them to both fall over.)

Mitch Mummy: (Snickering) Well at least my cotton head is better than yours, dog brains.

Willamina Werewolf: (Grumbling) Yeah, yeah, you glorified toilet roll...

Willamina Werewolf: (Now paying attention to the listener, aka the person she bumped into)

Willamina Werewolf: Heh, sorry about bumping into you there, guess I got lost in my argument. (Chuckles lightly)

Mitch Mummy:(Sighing) You’re so rude, not even offering them a hand up!

Mitch Mummy:(Smugly) Here, let me, a gentle ghoul, lend you a hand.

Willamina Werewolf: Ey! What about me?

Mitch Mummy: You can get yourself up, ya big bad wolf.

Willamina Werewolf: (Sighing and pulling themselves up) Well anyway...I’m really sorry for bumping you... you are alright arnt you?

(Pause for listener’s answer)

Mitch Mummy: Well, if you’re all fine and dandy we will just-

Willamina Werewolf: A-Actually, you wouldn’t mind helping us with a little argument, would you?

Mitch Mummy: Oh come on, first you basically man handle them, and now you want them to fight your battle? What a pup, ha!

Willamina Werewolf: (Growling lowly)I swear, I’ll grab your bandages and wrap you to the next tree we pass...

Willamina Werewolf :(Relaxed again) Anyway, what it is, is, I want to know, do you think a howl needs passion to it?

Mitch Mummy: Or is it just a loud, annoying sound?

(Pause as if listening for an answer)

Willamina Werewolf : Haha! Told ya!

Mitch Mummy:(Huffing) Typical, you types always stay together...

Willamina Werewolf : Huh? What are you talking about?

Mitch Mummy: Y-you are kidding right? Did you even look at what kind of person you bumped into? Ugh, idiot, they’re clearly a faun, you know, half goat half human?

Willamina Werewolf : (Sniffing the air) Are you sure? I mean...it’s just...they don’t smell like one...in fact...all I can smell... is a human scent...

Mitch Mummy: Are you sure? I mean look at the hoofs at the bottom of their legs! Jeez, maybe that bump messed up your nose.

Willamina Werewolf : Hmmmm, I don’t know...Oh! Ugh, Faun, if you are one, you haven’t been hanging around humans, have you?

(Pause for listener’s answers)

Both: (In an understanding tone) Aaah.

Mitch Mummy: Well that explains it.

Willamina Werewolf: So let me get this straight, you went out into the woods, and somehow, with no warlock or witch insight some humans just got into it and were trying to talk to you? Man that must have been terrible! You’re just lucky you didn’t get hurt, I’ve heard that humans do t-terrible things to are kind.

Mitch Mummy: (Scoffing) Yeah right, you do know humans are just trying to hide their fears! Anyway, we can get revenge on them in a few days. Ah, I can believe it’s almost time for the portal to open, it’s just a shame we only get one night to terrorise the humans.

Willamina Werewolf: Speaking of, we better get going! We’re going to be late for that scare class we were going to. Latest fears of humans 101.


Mitch Mummy: Ah! Quick, I don’t want to be stuck sitting near the bathrooms again.

(Two pairs of footsteps are heard running off, before two voices from far away are heard.)

Willamina Werewolf: It was nice meeting you faun!

Mitch Mummy: Remember to keep yourself safe, and report your sighting of the humans! Don’t want any sneaking into town before the big day!

(Slowly fade out as leaves are crunched further and further away)